Staff Reports
In a world where you can’t turn on the news without being bombarded by the latest progressive meltdown, it’s comforting to know that Democrats are keeping the spirit of paranoia alive and well. Take, for instance, Congressman Dan Goldman of New York. This guy is so wound up about a playful Trump quip regarding a potential 2028 run that he feels compelled to introduce a resolution clarifying the Constitution’s two-term limit. Yes, you heard that right. A sitting congressman is wasting precious taxpayer dollars on a resolution that essentially says, “Guess what, folks? The Constitution still means what it says!” If that doesn’t scream overreaction, we don’t know what does.
And let’s be honest here—did anyone think Trump would run three times? At this point, we’re at a place in history where we have octogenarians aiming for the White House, but let’s not forget that Trump’s comments were laced with humor. Yet, here comes Goldman, bursting with delusions that everyone is hanging on the edge of their seats for the return of an 82-year-old Trump. You have to wonder if someone told him this was a “Hunger Games” audition, and he thought his paranoia would win him the part.
Now, why is it that the Democrats continually find themselves in these convoluted situations? They may as well start calling it Trump Derangement Syndrome, and Goldman is just the latest case study. While many Americans have likely never felt their constitutional freedoms threatened by a well-timed joke, Goldman seems to be sweating bullets, convinced that Trump jokes are an insidious plot to monkey with democracy. Someone get this man a cozy therapy blanket because he needs some serious de-stressing.
Jumping from paranoia to sheer absurdity, we have the emergence of a so-called “shadow cabinet” from our friends in the Democratic Party. You’ve got Democrats openly discussing plans for a shadow government, ready to rumble with Trump’s loyalist apps in case he tries to “weaponize” anything he can lay his hands on. As if rubberbanding a bunch of Congress members in leotards and calling them a “cabinet” counts as a legitimate government plan. You’d think the world was coming to an end instead of merely risking a potential policy shift; we’ve arrived at the Great Shadow Government Panic of 2023. Don’t they have anything more pressing to handle?
Meanwhile, Jen Psaki is channeling her inner hipster, donning headphones that look totally out of place for a serious conversation. With every “circleback,” she somehow continues to perceive threats to free speech as an assault on democracy. When did having an opinion different from the party line suddenly become a crime? It’s almost as if to the Democrats, sharing a meme is akin to treason. They’ve gone full circle—from telling us we can share our unfiltered thoughts to now crying “disinformation” every time someone makes a joke out of their disastrous policies.
And then there’s the endless cycle of Democrats pondering how to cope with family members who voted for Trump. It’s Thanksgiving, folks! The turkey is getting roasted, and instead of enjoying the feast, there’s an emergency summit meeting on “How to Handle Uncle Fred’s Political Opinions.” At this rate, the only thing getting a serious roast this holiday will be family bonds. Who knew the dinner table would become the new battleground for ideological warfare? If you think the food might be spicy, wait until the conversation rolls around to the elections. Christmas gatherings will either be a free-for-all or a round of “Who can best avoid each other?” It’s all tragically comical.
So here’s to Congressman Goldman and his fellow Democrats, with their ridiculous resolutions and overblown fears. As they tumble down the rabbit hole of absurdity, the rest of America is left shaking their heads, laughing, and just trying to figure out who brought the apple pie. At the end of the day, let’s not forget that a little humor in politics can serve as the best remedy for all that paranoia—especially when that humor comes straight from the bizarre reality that some folks insist on living in.
