Staff Reports
Elon Musk has done it again, stirring the pot in the bureaucratic swamp that is the U.S. government. His latest revelation comes from his new role at the Department of Government Efficiency (conveniently acronymed DOGE), where he has unearthed a bewildering truth: millions of folks listed in the Social Security database are somehow still alive and kicking, despite being reported as aged between 100 and 159 years old. This data blunder raises eyebrows and questions about how the federal government can manage its basic records.
As if that wasn’t enough to give a heart attack to a few pension collectors, Musk’s team came across an appalling number of active Social Security numbers assigned to these supposed centenarians—many of whom apparently have the “death field” set to FALSE. This discovery has all the makings of an absurd comedy sketch, or at least a plotline for a daytime soap opera. Could it be the real-life version of “Twilight,” where an army of vampires is stealthily pocketing your taxpayer dollars?
🚨 🇺🇸 ELON UNCOVERS SOCIAL SECURITY'S VAMPIRE PROBLEM
DOGE finds millions of Americans in Social Security database marked as alive at impossible ages—including over 25 million people supposedly aged 100+.
When your data shows thousands listed as 150+ years old, and even two… https://t.co/4i6yHPxwRk pic.twitter.com/IjcMhy1faT
— Mario Nawfal (@MarioNawfal) February 17, 2025
To add a sprinkle of levity to the situation, Musk took to social media to share a chart illustrating the sheer volume of elderly “misreportings.” Over 20 million individuals are categorized as 100 years old or older, with nearly 4 million supposedly in the 130-139 age bracket. Even more shocking, approximately 1.3 million are being classified in the 150-159 age range. It seems the agencies responsible for managing the funds for seniors may need a serious reality check—or maybe an episode of CSI to figure out who’s really collecting the checks.
Musk’s tweet managed to inject a dose of humor into an otherwise serious subject, where his quip about vampires collecting Social Security prompted a collective eye-roll from conservatives and a nervous giggle from others. Just when one thought government incompetence couldn’t descend any lower, Musk raises a red flag that the Social Security Administration might need a full-blown audit. After all, he believes this could indicate massive fraud lurking just beneath the surface, akin to a horror movie twist that no one saw coming.
In his critique, Musk pointed out the glaring inconsistencies between the Social Security and Treasury files, illuminating the labyrinthine chaos that is federal record-keeping. The mere logic flow of the Social Security system is likened to something out of a horror novel, with nobody able to navigate its complexities. It’s a wonder any checks make it to retirees at all, considering how convoluted the payment files appear to be. If the government can’t even keep track of who’s alive and who isn’t, it raises concerns about everything else they’re managing—or mismanaging, as is often the case.
