Staff Reports
Some people just can’t help but feel a chill during an inauguration, especially when that calamity is the prospect of a Donald Trump presidency. On Inauguration Day, it seems the only thing colder than the weather in Washington D.C. is the heart of every liberal who’s been holding their breath since the last time they had to face their worst nightmare: the comeback of the “Orange Man.” What better way to ring in this supposedly “fascist” era than to kick off with what could only be described as an indoor celebration akin to a winter wonderland for MAGA fans? Yes, folks, it’s a polar vortex, or maybe just the icy grip of reality for AOC, who’s been doing her best to wrap her mind around the terrifying thought of Trump taking center stage again.
Now, let’s address the elephant-sized question that’s quietly floated into the room: why are so many people unhappy? A kid from the audience clarified what he was excited about—finally getting “law and order” back, to which pundits have quietly nodded along. Meanwhile, the liberal elite is scrambling to dismiss such sentiments as mere “bigotry,” while secretly realizing the irony that they’re the ones who have spent years advocating for borders to be practically non-existent. One can only hope that the kid shouting into the void about illegal immigrants “getting the hell out” doesn’t end up becoming the next political sensation, but honestly, at this point, who could be surprised? With how things are going, he might just make it to the White House at 30!
Now, speaking of political calendars, the day featured the soon-to-be-legendary signing spree by Trump. Reports vary wildly on how many executive orders he’d crank out, with numbers varying from a modest 50 to an ambitious 200. Were those numbers plucked from thin air? Maybe. But what is clear is that every wave of pen strokes he took resembled a magic wand—farewell, open borders, hello, law and order! For any future historians wondering about the day Trump made a comeback, think less Game of Thrones and more “Ali Baba and the 40 Thieves,” minus the thievery… hopefully.
Adding to the irony cocktail served up that day was a slew of performances at the inauguration balls featuring artists who had once shredded Trump like a stack of bad contracts. Yep, Snoop Dogg and others were seen smiling and shaking hands with the man they had previously depicted as their arch-nemesis. Turns out they just couldn’t resist the allure of appearing at Trump’s crypto-themed gala. It was a moment that sent social media into hysterics—liberals were fuming, claiming betrayal, while the MAGA crowd was popping popcorn, delightedly waiting for the inevitable meltdown from Snoop’s fans. After all, if a guy who once used his artistic license to depict the violent ousting of Trump now finds himself cozy with the Commander-in-Chief, it’s an easy recipe for Hollywood hypocrisy.
But amidst the chaos, we need to talk about the real casserole being cooked up in the mainstream media that had been cooking all appetizers of twisted narratives. Biden’s so-called advocacy for a TikTok ban turned out to be the ultimate face-plant. In case you missed it, there was a temporary TikTok blackout, which sent the Gen Z crowd into a frenzy. They were gifted with a message stating that the ban was enacted due to “a law,” but let’s be honest; it was an attempt to squash viral conversations that made their way to TikTok. Biden’s approval ratings have already plummeted, and he had to pass the blame to Trump—talk about a solid PR strategy! Now Biden will be forever remembered as the “TikTok Shutdown Guy,” and frankly, no one deserves that trophy more.
Finally, there’s the cherry on this sundae of absurdity: Biden’s approval ratings have somehow landed lower than Trump’s. That’s right, folks—lower than the man who was demonized for everything from COVID to climate change and certainly known for his questionable “grab-and-go” style of leadership. As the nation gears up for more of this topsy-turvy political landscape, one can only hope that conservatives everywhere have stocked up on their mugs and shirts, braced for what’s ahead. At this point, political humor seems to be the best survival strategy; grab a Liberal Tears mug and enjoy the show.
