Staff Reports
In the aftermath of yet another election night spectacle, our favorite liberal comedians have traded in their laughter for tears, and it’s a sight to behold! Surrounded by their deep-seated bewilderment and existential dread, the Hollywood elites are coming to grips with a harsh reality: the voters out in the good ol’ heartland of America seem to have missed the memo on which way the pendulum was supposed to swing.
Take Jimmy Kimmel, for instance. This guy had the audacity to appear crestfallen over what he calls “the terrible night” for women, immigrants, and healthcare—perhaps he was mistaking election results for the end of the world. And who could forget the cringe-worthy moment when he bemoaned the plight of supposedly “hardworking immigrants”? Maybe he forgot that not all immigrants come with a talent for door-to-door clowning. After all, the only hard work in his world involves dragging himself out of bed to whine before an audience of empty chairs about how half the nation had the gall to vote for someone he perceives as the devil incarnate.
But wait! Over on CBS, Stephen Colbert began his first post-election show swimming in self-pity. With all the enthusiasm of a kid forced to clean his room before playing video games, he recounted how he would do a show “out of gratitude.” This gratitude, of course, was directed primarily at himself and his dwindling audience, who seemed more interested in scrolling TikTok than tuning into his scripted drivel. It’s almost comical to think that the biggest tragedy in Colbert’s life is that he has to tell jokes to a studio audience that isn’t actually there because, let’s be honest, who wants to witness liberal despair up close?
And then we have Kathy Griffin, proving yet again that she’s living in an alternate reality where the skies are painted in shades of panic. Her commentary took the cake as she warned of a “fascistic society” under Trump’s rule. Faced with a choice between humor and hysteria, she chose to plunge headfirst into the latter, leaving everyone to cringe yet again. One can’t help but wonder if her next act will involve an interpretative dance lamenting the demise of democracy—or perhaps just some sheepish resignation.
It’s hard to ignore the irony when MSNBC’s Nicole Wallace hit the ‘delete’ button on her Twitter account, claiming it was for “self-preservation.” It’s not that the feed was promoting pure chaos; it’s just that she was finally faced with a reality check that her echo chamber wouldn’t permit. If only she’d recognized that Twitter is fickle and surviving it requires a bit more than fleeing the moment things get uncomfortable. But nah, she chose to take her ball and go home, reinforcing the stereotype of the delicate snowflake.
Meanwhile, former attorney for Donald Trump, Michael Cohen, put on an unintended comedy show of his own. As he attempted to defend himself and his cringe-worthy promise to jump ship if Trump won, he clearly didn’t foresee the tidal wave of trolling his statements would unleash. One can only envision a room full of people snickering right alongside the internet at his brazen lack of self-awareness. Funny how those who scream about “activism” can’t handle a little bit of trolling, isn’t it?
As the dust settles from yet another storm of tears and tantrums from the left, it’s clear that America can expect another four years of hilarity derived from their relentless misery. In the meantime, we can pop some popcorn to watch as they unravel, proving that every “bad night” may just be a great night for those of us who understand humor, political satire, and a good pair of MAGA socks. Because let’s face it, while they wallow in political despair, we are kicking back and enjoying the show!
