Staff Reports
In a world where shrinking violets dominate the conversation, one has to ask: how far down the rabbit hole of absurdity can we go? It turns out, pretty far! The latest headline-grabbing move from the progressive left includes an initiative to update language—specifically, the word “woman.” Welcome to the new age of woke, where “woman” is too triggering. The new inclusion is “wiim xon,” a term brought forth by some radical feminists who are reportedly offended by the mere presence of “man” in “woman.” Yes, folks, the battle against the patriarchy has taken an odd twist—the patriarchy now exists within our vocabulary!
It’s hard to keep up with all the buzzwords flying around these days, but it seems that there’s a competition for who can come up with the most convoluted terminology that nobody understands. “Wiim xon” is the latest entry in this linguistic Olympics, a term that aims to include everyone under the sun—except perhaps those of us who can still appreciate the beauty of the English language as it was meant to be used. Why stop at “wiim xon,” though? How about just calling everyone “person” and being done with it? Wait, don’t give them any ideas!
And what’s next? Are we going to start canceling Neil Armstrong for his infamous comment that it was “one small step for man”? A simple tip for activists everywhere: redefining a historical figure’s words doesn’t change the fact that he was literally on the moon. But let’s be realistic—facts don’t matter when you’re busy crafting the success story of a victim narrative. The idea that the moon landing can no longer be celebrated because of its “sexist” undertones is almost as astounding as the leaps in logic that lead to it. If you think about it, couldn’t we say that “mankind” was simply referring to all of humanity? Nah, that’s too rational.
Some progressive pundits have even suggested that we need to educate those around us on gendered language because clearly, Neil Armstrong must’ve had a crash course on gender studies before he blasted off into space. So much for the “Apollo program”—we should probably rename it the “Gender Inclusivity Task Force.” Next, they’ll want NASA to replace all space missions with sensitivity training sessions on how to properly describe rocket fuel without implying it’s only for boys.
As the debate rages on over this ludicrous rebranding, rational conversation seems to be in short supply. A few brave souls have started to push back against this avalanche of absurdity, arguing that changing “woman” to “wiim xon” is a bridge too far. And not just for the usual suspects; even self-identified feminists have expressed their confusion and reluctance to hop on this gender-bending train. A “wiim xon” is still a woman, just wearing a particularly bewildering label. Let’s not forget the most consequential point in all of this: our culture is fracturing under the weight of these politically correct categories, leaving confused folks in its wake.
In conclusion, while the progressive agenda remains adamant about changing our language to fit their latest ideology, let’s remember a few things: language evolves, but it should be grounded in common sense and not idealistic fantasies that stretch credulity. If “wiim xon” is where we’re heading, perhaps we should also start considering other terms—like “non-sensical human beings” for everyone who can’t seem to sit down and have a rational discussion about anything anymore. Ultimately, the key takeaway from this whirlwind of lunacy is that common sense may be lost, but at least we’ll always have a bizarre new lexicon to entertain us as we watch the world turn upside down.
