Staff Reports
In the great game of government jobs, some 12,700 bureaucrats just heard the word “game over” as they were handed pink slips from the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID). Out with the old and in with the freshly unemployed, as Elon Musk, a close Trump ally leading the reorganization, decided that just 294 employees were enough to do whatever it is they do. You could almost hear the collective gasp of outrage echoing from those who love spending taxpayer dollars like it’s Monopoly money. Saving money is the new public enemy number one.
And speaking of outrage, the woke brigade is up in arms. They’re fighting tooth and nail to keep those dollars flowing to far-flung places where a tree queen story hour is a higher priority than fixing the potholes on Main Street. But hey, the quirky logic of saving money must seem like a villainous plot, especially when the funds claimed by bureaucratic black holes are filled with those amusing projects that make sense to only a select few who seem to have majored in Economics for Dummies.
Meanwhile, back in the heartland of corporate America, Carl’s Jr. is bringing back bikini-clad burger models. It seems there’s been a cultural awakening of sorts. Disney Plus, not to be outdone, decided to shed 700,000 subscribers last year. That’s only a small dent in their whopping subscriber army, but it’s enough to make even Mickey Mouse raise an eyebrow. Our nation’s appetite for wokeness, as it turns out, maybe waning faster than those viewers who’d finally had enough of gender-fluid fairy tales.
Now, cue the victory lap courtesy of President Trump and his latest executive order—a decree barring transgender women from competing in women’s sports. Sorry, Lia Thomas, but the starting line now appropriately matches the gender box ticked at birth. The real winners here are the young athletes who joined Trump for the signing, no longer needing to worry that their competition might suddenly transform a few categories over. President Biden, as he’s affectionately known among those charmed by his hair-sniffing antics, will be sure to err… support from wherever he’s napping.
Of course, the media remains diligently busy photoshopping reality to better fit their scripts. Lia Thomas was practically given a digital makeover, reminiscent of those CGI superheroes we see in theaters, just to make that narrative a tad more palatable. Meanwhile, the legal world is getting ready for its next marathon match, thanks to the lawsuits piling up against any attempt to make sports great again. Brace yourselves—this legal saga might unroll slower than a soap opera, with the Supreme Court’s gavel looming in the distance, ready to bring some sense into this absurd yet entertaining world.
