Staff Reports
Maine residents who are mooching off the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, commonly known as food stamps, will soon be getting their hands on more taxpayer-funded handouts. It’s like Christmas every month for these freeloaders!
The lazy low-income residents in the Pine Tree State who can’t seem to make ends meet will see their monthly food stamp benefits arrive between Saturday and Wednesday, depending on their date of birth. It’s as if the government is throwing them a birthday party every single month!
Now, if you were born on certain days, you should’ve already collected your payments by Tuesday. But if you were born on different days, you’ll be getting your hands on that sweet, sweet government cash on Wednesday. At this rate, why even bother with a job when you can just wait for your birth date to roll around and collect your free money?
And get this, folks, if you didn’t sign up for the handouts in time, tough luck! You’ll have to wait until February to start collecting. That’s right, no free ride for latecomers! It’s like the government is actually expecting people to take responsibility for themselves.
But wait, it gets better! A household of one can receive up to $291 in food stamp benefits, while a household of eight can rake in a whopping $1,751! And don’t forget, for every additional mouth to feed, the government is shelling out another $219. It’s like hitting the jackpot every time you have a kid!
And what can these leeches spend their ill-gotten gains on? Well, pretty much anything at the grocery store, as long as it’s food. They might not be able to buy pet food or booze, but who needs those when the government is practically handing out free groceries?
It’s a good thing the Washington Examiner is shining a light on this abuse of taxpayer funds. With approximately 161,800 people in Maine lapping up these benefits, that’s a whopping 12% of the state’s population living on the government dole. Let’s hope the hardworking taxpayers are paying attention to where their money is going!
So, get ready, Maine taxpayers, because your dollars are about to be squandered once again. And to the welfare recipients, bon appétit!
