Staff Reports
The circus is back in town, folks! And by “circus,” I mean the media’s unending obsession with January 6th, which has become the hottest topic since, well, forever. Picture this: Donald Trump, in a magnificent show of executive power, has decided to extend a golden olive branch to approximately 1,500 people who got caught up in the “mostly peaceful protests” of that fateful day. This isn’t just a pardon; it’s practically a welcome-back party! You can almost hear the confetti falling as these “insurrectionists”—yes, we’re back to calling them that—are cut free. Meanwhile, the left is collectively sobbing into their journals, and let’s be honest, they’ve likely already started another support group for their trauma.
Trump has made the righteous decision to commute sentences for 14 individuals too, which some might say is a practical move—after all, you don’t want to give everyone a clean slate when some of them engaged in behaviors like “touring” the Capitol while wearing a trendy Proud Boys hoodie. And hey, let’s throw some kudos to Joe Biggs! After allegedly playing a game of ‘find the protesters’ instead of ‘smash the windows,’ he’s now home sweet home—presumably with a fridge stocked full of celebratory snacks and his new favorite line of Trumplified sneakers.
But wait, there’s more! Just when Democrats thought they could throw their “everyone who attended the rally is a felon” confetti, Trump swoops in with a delightful dose of hypocrisy. Joe Biden has recently pardoned five family members because crime runs in the family. You have to give it to Biden for keeping it “in the family,” so to speak. Let’s face it; it’s practically a family reunion if your family is an alleged crime syndicate. And Chuck Schumer, who once extinguished the flames of “preemptive pardons,” must be facepalming so hard right now he might turn into a permanent fixture at his local bar.
Now, onto the media’s favorite pastime: deflecting with drama. Enter the lovely AOC, who had her knickers in a twist over Elon Musk allegedly giving a Nazi salute. This gal seems to live in an endless spiral of dramatic interpretations. Her latest meltdown over Musk has everyone wondering if she’s more obsessed with his backstory than actual policy. You have to wonder; does watching someone with Asperger’s make the left feel more superior, or do they genuinely think they’re saving the world one unjustly-narrated Twitter post at a time? Either way, they seem to have a knack for transforming headlines into literal dramas that could rival any high school theater production.
And while the left is spinning tales of gender fluidity—where you can be a “they” on Tuesday and a full-on “Zer” by Thursday—parents are still stuck navigating this minefield while trying to figure out if their kids even know the difference between “she” and “her.” Take our beloved educator who had a “mess up” with a student’s pronouns. Remember when school was about reading, writing, and arithmetic? Now it’s turned into a social experiment that would make even the most well-intentioned teacher question their sanity. If only someone could remind them that asking a kid about their preferred pronouns might warrant a psychiatrist’s visit instead of a lecture about personal identity.
And as if things couldn’t get crazier, an activist failed in biology class for merely stating “male” and “female.” In a stunning turn of events, protesters took it upon themselves to barricade an event meant to promote free speech. If this isn’t emblematic of how utterly ridiculous the culture has become, then nothing is. When you have actual taxpayers storming, yelling, and screaming over a college event, you’ve truly hit the jackpot when it comes to absurd liberal antics. Although it does seem like the unhinged left might finally be raising the alarm to us normal folks that enough is enough.
So here we are, America—awash in the nonsensical theater brought to us by our media and the unyielding left. Let’s raise a glass (hold the liberal tears, please) to our sweet return of January 6th coverage, Biden’s double-dipping pardons, and a culture war that feels less like a skirmish and more like an all-out brawl in a high school cafeteria. Buckle up because it looks like this ride ain’t stopping anytime soon!
