Staff Reports
In an enchanting twist of irony, Donald Trump attended the National Prayer Service this morning like a VIP at a family reunion—except this family has a lot of unresolved issues and a fair share of wokeness. Accompanied by his family and Ohio Senator JD Vance, they took their seats at the Washington National Cathedral. One might think they were in for a solemn occasion, right? Wrong. Instead, they encountered a service that included progressive themes conducted by Episcopalian Bishop Mariann Budde. It’s not enough to just pray for the nation; you’ve got to sprinkle in a little avant-garde ideology for good measure.
Let’s just pause for a moment and reflect on the term “Episcopal Church”—a place where traditional beliefs seem to have been left at the welcome mat. That’s right; this denomination has decided to not just accept, but celebrate the fact that women can be pastors. Shocking, I know! But wait, it gets better. They also embrace the LGBTQ+ community. Bishop Budde made a point of mentioning that there are “gay, lesbian, and transgender youth”—as if these kids came with a warning label about how they might feel unsafe in a world where conservative ideals are often under siege.
Picture JD Vance’s face—because you can only imagine how full of gratitude he must have felt for undergoing such enlightenment. There they were, trying to keep straight faces amid someone proclaiming that the majority of immigrants are not criminals and contribute positively to society. Sure, they might pay taxes while navigating the complexities of the economy, but when did we start giving high-fives to people who might not even have the right paperwork?
Meanwhile, as the “holy” service unfolded, Bishop Budde echoed sentiments often found in liberal discourse, instilling fear in the hearts of families everywhere. Didn’t anyone tell her that the panic over the supposed criminality of immigrants is a tactic straight out of the progressive playbook? But alas, she continued bravely, as poor Vance probably contemplated the nearest exit. The irony of a church service turning into an ideological symposium was lost in the holiest of moments.
Now let’s get to the real kicker which would make even the staunchest ‘build-the-wall’ advocates raise an eyebrow. The church seemingly supports abortion as a definitive moral choice while, one can only assume, the main discussion topic at coffee hour involves which social justice theme will take precedence in next week’s sermon. They must have a grand old time discussing inclusivity while simultaneously excluding traditional moral viewpoints that many Americans hold dear. You’d think they’re vying for the title of “Most Progressive Place on Earth.” Who needs Bible verses when you have social justice rhetoric, right?
As if that wasn’t enough absurdity for one day, let’s not forget how Trump was also waving around a sword during previous inaugural festivities—whether it was meant for cake-cutting or slaying Democrats is still up for debate. But if wielding a sword while the Left cringes in horror isn’t the pinnacle of political theatre, what is? Don’t forget to grab a t-shirt while you’re at it because nothing says “MAGA” like strolling around in a “Fight, Fight, Fight” shirt after attending a service that feels more like a circus than a chapel. So here’s to the delightful chaos that unfolded today—the bold, the woke, and the utterly ridiculous all rolled into one gloriously hopeful day for Conservatives everywhere!
