Staff Reports
Biden is gearing up for a new chapter, and judging by his age, it’s probably time he sharpened his pencils and drafted a retirement to-do list, preferably one that doesn’t involve any more gaffes. As the oldest president at 82, Biden has reached the age where senior discounts start looking appealing—assuming he can still remember where to find them. He has hinted at uncertainty regarding his stamina for the future, questioning what he might be up to when he hits 86, which is frankly a concern not just for him but for the American public at large.
Unlike the ever-ambitious Donald Trump—who is still visibly eager for a political comeback—Biden appears to be a bit more reserved about his retirement plans. Friends in his inner circle suggest he hasn’t been tossing around many ideas outside of a tight-knit gaggle of aides. One can only imagine the brainstorming sessions at the White House being filled with crickets rather than grand plans.
As Biden joins the former presidents club, here are some ideas for his retirement to-do listhttps://t.co/FuhlHn9POn pic.twitter.com/IUNQwgZ8pK
— The Washington Times (@WashTimes) January 13, 2025
Speaking of former presidents, many have turned their post-White House years into lucrative speaking gigs. You can just picture Biden making his rounds, desperately trying to boost a legacy that most Americans can’t even recall—or care to recall. The best he can hope for is to emerge from his presidency with something to show for it besides low approval ratings. Perhaps he’ll take a page from George W. Bush’s playbook and pick up painting—because if those canvases don’t speak of his presidential accomplishments, they’ll certainly provide a nice distraction.
Adding to Biden’s list of fun retirement activities is fundraising for his presidential library, which is likely to be stamped somewhere in his home state of Delaware, where he basked in the glory of his 36-year Senate tenure. Supposedly, he’s already roped in an ambassador from his administration to help rake in the cash. One can only hope he won’t need to auction off the classified documents he was careless enough to leave lying around to raise funds.
While some former presidents enjoy the camaraderie of the “ex-presidents club,” Biden may want to steer clear of their typical routines of fundraising and feel-good projects. Between conflicting reports about how well he handles documents—especially after classified materials went missing in his garage—it might be better for everyone if he sticks to writing his memoirs. Rumor has it his ghostwriters even had to deal with potential obstruction of justice charges due to his slipshod handling of sharing sensitive information. Sounds like a great way to maintain the prestige of the office.
Don’t forget the glitz and glamour that Biden seems eager to embrace in his golden years. With jokes about seeking new job opportunities from the Hollywood elite, it’s clear he’s charting a path that has less to do with statecraft and more with a future in showbiz. Biden is ready to transition into a life that, if not more dignified, at least promises to be a bit more entertaining. While the current administration might be enjoying their moments in the sun, the real fun is just around the corner—possibly with a side of celebrity endorsements. Who knew retirement could be so sparkling?
