Staff Reports
Joe Biden’s much-anticipated speech at the Democratic National Convention turned into a late-night disaster, leaving viewers wondering if they had accidentally tuned into a B-grade horror film. The event kicked off with a lengthy parade of no-name speakers who could only be described as the Democrats’ version of the C-team. By the time Biden finally stepped into the spotlight just after 11:30 PM, many Americans had already lost all hopes and dreams of civility and bedtime snacks.
The Democrats may have thought they were pulling off a clever coup by saving their big cheese for a “not-so-prime-time” slot, but what they ended up with was an angry-looking Biden who embodied every frustrated grandpa in America. Instead of the confident “Dark Brandon” persona his handlers had hoped for, Biden appeared more like a grumpy old man who couldn’t find his glasses—while standing on stage. The night had devolved into a bizarre mix of political theatrics that would make even a seasoned comedian shout, “Get off my TV!”
#ltCDATAJoeBidengt #ltCDATAKamalaHarrisgt Joe Biden Tries for 'Dark Brandon' But Just Looks Angry in Not-for-Prime Time DNC Speech https://t.co/oGMlzA9ng7 pic.twitter.com/jeMlf8c8wd
— AntiCorporatism.com (@CorporateState) August 20, 2024
His daughter Ashley was tasked with polishing the tarnished image of her father, a man known for his ‘hands-on’ approach to family relations. She referred to him as the “ultimate girl dad,” which set the cringe factor to an all-time high. The awkward hug and hand-holding on stage felt more like a scene out of a soap opera than a legitimate political rally. But hey, when your party reduces you to an afterthought, that attempt at a warm moment is all you’ve got.
And in classic Biden fashion, the president wasted no time in spewing a buffet of distortions. Claims about why he entered the 2020 race included a reference to the Charlottesville protests, where he attempted to pin the neo-Nazi label on his rival, Donald Trump. As if anyone watching didn’t already know, the Democrats have been milking that narrative dry. Imagine trying to play the victim while your political party embraces guest speakers who openly support Hamas—talk about a self-own!
As Biden rambled on, the crowd seemed less like devoted party loyalists and more like unwilling hosts at a family reunion that had gone on way too long. His glaring contradictions overshadowed Biden’s promise of freedom, democracy, and unity. There was a chuckle-worthy moment when he claimed that billionaires were paying fewer taxes than regular folks, right as he coolly acknowledged his own administration’s tax increases were driving Americans into financial corners.
The grand finale wrapped up with Biden’s typical ramblings, slurred words, and the kind of inaccuracies that would make a fact-checker throw in the towel. When he declared he wasn’t angry about the chorus of voices calling for him to step down, a chuckle rippled through the crowd that just couldn’t hide the truth—the man might genuinely be peeved. As he finally signed off after midnight with a weak nod to Kamala Harris and the great American spirit, one thing was for certain: sleepy Joe had clocked out much earlier than anticipated.
In this spectacle, Biden overpromised and underdelivered, and if the DNC thinks this is a winning strategy for the elections ahead, they might want to rethink their game plan. The show was a flop, and the audience was virtually nonexistent by the end—good luck selling that disaster of a late-night infomercial to the American people.
