Staff Reports
With the Democrats left to pick up the pieces after another disastrous election, the blame game is heating up faster than a pot of boiling water in a liberal kitchen. A veritable buffet of accusations is being served, featuring everyone’s favorite culinary expert, Nancy Pelosi, who’s cooking a delicious stew of finger-pointing. Apparently, President Biden is the chef responsible for the culinary catastrophe after failing to hold an Open Primary. Nancy thinks if Gavin Newsom had had a shot, he would’ve been the main course instead of Kamala Harris, who she inexplicably insists would have still prevailed—because nothing screams “winning” like a candidate nobody actually likes.
Meanwhile, over at MSNBC, Joy Reid is diving deeper into the world of conspiracy theories than a toddler in a ball pit. According to her, the real culprits behind the Democratic debacle are a cabal of “black and Latino white supremacists.” Yes, you read that right. Forget about policies or messaging; it’s all about those sneaky racists hiding behind their keyboards. Don’t try to make sense of that one; it’s the kind of logic that could fill an entire episode of “How Not to Debate Real Issues.”
But wait! It gets even better. In a glorious display of timing, a mural of Kamala Harris was painted just a day after the election. It’s as if someone hit the fast-forward button on the entire “let’s forget Kamala ever happened” project. A true artist understands that the best thing to do after a bad election is to scrub the record clean, and they did it masterfully. Poor Kamala—it’s not easy being the poster child for what happens when affirmative action goes rogue.
As the left continues to flounder, it seems their scapegoat du jour is none other than social media. Apparently, Republican podcasters and Twitter users are to blame for feeding Americans all that “misinformation” that led them to vote against the Democrats. It couldn’t possibly be that the American people are simply tired of being told how to think and what to feel. Oh no, it must be external influences! Forget the millions of everyday citizens finally realizing the nonsense of forced woke narratives—let’s blame the internet instead.
In the wake of the election, leftists are having meltdowns that could rival a toddler’s tantrum in a candy store. Some are even suggesting the creation of a social media platform that leans left to combat the so-called misinformation on Twitter. Little do they know, it already exists! It’s called Facebook, chock-full of the same cringeworthy content with a side of “Look What I Ate for Lunch.” Nothing screams “fresh content” quite like a platform where everyone is yelling into the void about politics while baby photos flood the timelines. Ah, the irony!
So, as the Democrats sift through the rubble of their grand plans, one thing is clear: Instead of admitting their ideological platform may need a double-take, they’ll just continue with the blame game. With each wild theory and each mural scrubbed from existence, the left shows how truly out of touch they are with average Americans. But hey, who needs policies and relatable candidates when you have a treasure trove of excuses to explore?
