Staff Reports
It’s Tuesday, almost a week after the circus we called a debate, and the Democrats are scrambling. The burning question on everyone’s mind is whether President Joe Biden should be ousted from the top spot on the Democratic ticket and if so, who’s going to step into this political quicksand?
Vice President Kamala Harris would be the obvious choice if voters didn’t see her as comparable to a norovirus outbreak or a defective AMC Gremlin. It’s hard to imagine her galvanizing the nation when even the mere mention of her name is enough to induce a collective eye roll.
Gov Named as Possible Biden Replacement Releases Cringeworthy '#HotInfrastructureSummer' Video via @WestJournalism https://t.co/xuyjDyZwHX
— Sherry L (@mountainmama50) July 3, 2024
Then there’s Governor Gavin Newsom, straight out of California with the slickness of a used car salesman. Slick isn’t exactly a quality that wins over Middle America. And imagine the uproar from the identity politics fanatics if the first black woman VP gets passed over for another white liberal from California. It would be 2016 all over again, but worse.
Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg is also on the list. Yet, considering his stellar performance disassembling the supply chain and overseeing transportation fiascoes, Buttigieg might be better suited for a long-term, low-profile role at a DMV somewhere, rather than leading the free world.
The level of desperation in DNC-ville is evident when names like Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama start getting tossed around. At this rate, they might as well be drawing names out of a hat. Meanwhile, another candidate lurking in the shadows is Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer.
It’s easy to forget that Whitmer practically turned Michigan into a dystopian novel with her draconian COVID-19 lockdowns, even banning the sale of gardening supplies. Yet somehow, she managed to score a commendable 54.5 percent in her re-election, probably because people were just dying to get out and vote after being cooped up for so long.
Now, in her attempt to be relatable and hip, Whitmer has unveiled her latest project – #HotInfrastructureSummer. Borrowing this gem from the cringe-worthy antics of Megan Thee Stallion, she assures Michiganders that strong, reliable infrastructure is, well, hot girl stuff. If there were a cringometer, this might just break it.
Everyone should brace themselves for more of this pop culture pandering as Whitmer attempts to fix Michigan’s roads, pipes, and bridges with the fervor of a sorority girl planning spring break. Just think, her cringe-inducing hashtag campaign could be the Democratic Party’s new battle cry. With Joe “where am I?” Biden faltering, this is apparently the best they’ve got.
In conclusion, while the Democratic Party’s search for someone, anyone, who can replace Joe Biden turns into a dark comedy, the rest of us should be grateful our side isn’t participating in a political version of America’s Got Talent. Whitmer’s #HotInfrastructureSummer is just the latest episode in what promises to be a never-ending sitcom starring the Democrats’ finest collection of floundering hopefuls.
