Staff Reports
Ah, the October surprise! Just when you thought it was safe to change your voter registration to “I’m over this nonsense,” the Democratic Party has sprung yet another theatrical extravaganza of lies and deceit upon us. This latest episode of “As The World Turns: Political Edition” features the riveting plot twist of Donald Trump being compared to—wait for it—Adolf Hitler. Because, obviously, when your polling numbers lag, and your candidate can’t muster enthusiasm, nothing says “winning strategy,” like sullying your opponent with the vilest of accusations.
In an act of sheer desperation that could rival a kid on the playground throwing the biggest tantrum because they lost at kickball, the Democrats dragged out John Kelly, a retired Marine General and former Trump Chief of Staff. Kelly dutifully takes the stage, proclaiming that Trump embodies fascism with the kind of passion usually reserved for urgent pleas to find a puppy lost in a park. But really, who can blame Kelly? The man undoubtedly misses the days when he could closely supervise the Orange One without navigating through media slander and existential dread over what he would tweet next.
Then, the major media players—our beloved CNN and MSNBC—are reveling in this gory spectacle. If you enjoy a good horror movie, you probably also find delight in watching these networks replay the same shocking scenes of fabricated outrage on a 24-hour loop. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the commentators on these channels have taken “baby’s first word” to a whole new level with their incessant mantra: Trump = Hitler. Insanity? Maybe. Effective debate tactics for adults? Not even close.
Among the main actors is Anderson Cooper, who casually spews misinformation while inexplicably withholding his connections to the CIA as if it were a family secret learned at a holiday dinner. Who doesn’t love a good cover-up? It’s like watching a magician who forgets to conceal how the rabbit left the hat. And let’s not forget about the so-called “liberal outlets” pushing their latest Operation Mockingbird narrative. It’s like they’ve adopted a soundboard of political talking points: “Fascism! Bad economy! Trump!” Wash, rinse, repeat. All while pretending they’re not just recycling the same tired tropes that were a hit five years ago.
And, oh, what’s this? A dire warning about the economy from analysts who clamor for the FBI to investigate every quip made by Trump while conveniently ignoring inflation and the border crisis? Color us shocked. Stating that the economy is “dismal” while simultaneously claiming “it’s not that bad” is the new jazz music—taking the old sounds and remixing them into something that can only be described as “surely folks will buy this.” Before you click away, allow us to share another example of their “gotcha” behavior: Trump’s alleged remarks about costs related to a soldier’s funeral. Because let’s be real—a good soldier’s downfall is always better than the real conversation about what it costs to run a country these days!
As if this circus couldn’t get any zanier, President Biden attempts to play the ringleader, albeit confusingly. Imagine the scene: Biden, who seems to defy gravity with every word, suggests we need to “lock him up.” Is he calling for civil discourse or just channeling his inner political enforcer? The attempt to cover it up—“Oh no, what I meant was to lock him out”—falls flat like a badly made soufflé. In a world where clarity is king, Biden is busy building a castle made of quicksand, and folks, it’s not looking strong.
In conclusion, the latest chapter in the political soap opera has delivered confusion, frenzied claims, and many self-inflicted wounds to the Democratic narrative. As the October surprise unfolds with all the grace of a three-legged giraffe trying to run a marathon, one must wonder: how much lower can it go? All we can do is grab some popcorn, tuck into this absurdity, and thank our lucky stars for having a front-row seat to witness the madness of it all. The elections are right around the corner, and one thing’s for sure: it will be a wild ride!
