Staff Reports
In the latest chapter of chaos in Chicago, a weekend thriller unfolded as protests erupted after a border agent fired shots at a woman reportedly trying to reenact a scene from an action movie by ramming her car into federal agents. The Department of Homeland Security stands by its agents, emphasizing it was all in self-defense. They have a point—when someone comes at you with a car and a semi-automatic weapon, it tends to scream self-defense. After a quick visit to the hospital, the woman is now sipping military-grade coffee under FBI supervision.
But that wasn’t enough drama for the weekend, was it? Things heated up once again in the Brighton Park neighborhood, where anti-ICE protesters came face-to-face with federal agents. This wasn’t your typical disagreement; rocks, bottles, and more were allegedly aimed at ICE vehicles. Teargas had to take a break from its day job to help restore the calm. Such is life in Chicago these days. Not even the Windy City’s blustery weather seems to blow away these tempests of unrest.
Meanwhile, DHS revealed a little nighttime escapade involving a domestic terror group who felt blocking federal agents with cars like playing bumper cars was a great weekend plan. The federal agents were boxed in, forcing them to go full action hero, shooting their way out. You can’t make this stuff up! And if that wasn’t enough, they’re apparently using Craigslist—or whatever underground network—to post bounties on officers. Rumor has it law enforcement is the new “most dangerous job,” right up there with crocodile wrestlers and shark dentists.
Skittish about the lawlessness flooding his state, Illinois Governor J.D. Bayne Froney became streakily indignant when the Trump administration offered to send in the National Guard. How dare they suggest sending military troops to save the day when Chicago police are already busy playing hide and seek with crime stats? It doesn’t help that the Chicago police didn’t exactly storm in for backup when federal agents got boxed in. Is there a “Do Not Disturb” sign on their door?
The administration’s push to federalize troops isn’t limited to Illinois. Over in Oregon, protests outside the ICE facility in Portland have kept everyone on their toes. They plan to deploy 200 National Guard troops there, too. So much for just another sleepy Pacific Northwest day. One might wonder if there’s an awards ceremony for the most action-packed protest, or if this is merely a warm-up for Hollywood’s next summer blockbuster. Whatever the case, it’s clear that this isn’t your average American civil discord—even if it sometimes feels like it.
