Staff ReportsAs Christmas jingles creep ever closer, the political stage remains cluttered with the remnants of the recent election—most notably, the Democrats stumbling through their own special brand of misery. In an up-and-coming cult classic of cringe, Senate Democrat leadership graced the cameras, looking like deer caught in headlights. Chuck Schumer stepped up, possibly questioning his life choices as he pondered the approval rating of his thumbs. A little further down the chain, Amy Klobuchar flashed a plastic smile that could rival the worst of Hollywood’s B-list actresses just as she validated the dubious honor of being part of a party that recently attempted to crown Biden as the saint of law and order.
Ah, but who could forget that little October surprise? In a move that would make any magician jealous, Biden went ahead and pulled the ultimate rabbit from his hat—pardon his son, Hunter, while simultaneously calling the rest of America “garbage.” Talk about a two-for-one special—only in this case, the only thing getting discounted is journalistic integrity. When the press corps took a swing at the obvious ethical question marks surrounding this royal-level pardon, they were met with a deafening chorus of “I got nothing for you on that.” If silence speaks volumes, Biden’s team is holding a library endorsement.
And did someone order a side of hypocrisy with that permission slip for familial favors? The mainstream media went into full-on denial mode, frantically spinning narratives that made a child’s “the dog ate my homework” excuse look thorough. Some anchors doubled down, mapping out an elaborate game of semantics that would put professional gymnasts to shame. The message? Pardon me, but there’s nothing to see here, folks—just a president doing presidential things, like consolidating power in the equivalent of a twisted game of Monopoly.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Trump not only filed his nails at Mar-a-Lago but also managed to corner the market on all things dramatic. “Who needs to be in office to shake things up?” he seemed to ask. With a flick of his wrist and a meme for extra flair, Trump suggested that Canada should just roll with it and become the 51st state. This got a few chuckles from Justin Trudeau, as confused giggles filled a room that once came together over serious political discussions. Imagine being the guy on the international stage whose best response involves a nervous laugh and detox from political caffeine.
It’s truly remarkable how the left has been oscillating between dramatic meltdowns and strategic eye rolls since Trump floated back onto the scene. Suddenly, MAGA has turned into some kind of political plague, with Congressional Democrats wishing they could quarantine the idea of Trump itself. As it happens, a viral TikTok seems to have given liberals fancy ideas on how to foster unity: entirely cut ties with anyone who’s ever cast a ballot for the guy. It’s a thrilling social approach—imagine the long girl’s night list they’ll have to assemble at future gatherings!
So, as the holidays approach and the Democrats continue to flail in a spiral of their self-inflicted wounds, keep in mind that the only thing more entertaining than this circus is the #MAGA merchandise dropping just in time for Christmas. With festive options like “Happy Four More Years” sweatshirts, it looks like conservatives are not just laughing at the absurdities spinning around Washington; they’re also turning it into a shopping spree. Now that’s what they call Christmas cheer in the land of the free.
