Staff Reports
In a move that has left liberal hearts afire, Tom Homan has emerged as the new border czar for the incoming Trump administration, causing the usual suspect meltdowns in progressive circles. Why? Because he’s tossing aside the delicate flower rhetoric of “undocumented immigrants” and putting on his big-boy pants to actually address the border crisis—something that sends shivers down the spines of those who prefer a “hug it out” approach to the rule of law. Really, who would have thought that having a border czar who cares about borders would ruffle some liberal feathers?
This guy has a message for the millions of “undocumented citizens”—an oxymoron thanks to the left’s penchant for euphemism. Homan has advised them to start packing their bags. The audacity! When he said, “You better start packing now,” you could almost hear the collective gasp from those who believe America is some sort of free-for-all grocery store for illegal immigrants. Those liberal pundits probably spat their organic, gluten-free lattes all over their neatly arranged avocado toast when they heard those words. It’s not that crazy—families can absolutely be deported together. But hey, when you have a flair for dramatic interpretations, as many on the left do, why let logic get in the way?
As Homan sensibly points out, if you find yourself on the wrong side of the law—like, say, being in the country illegally—there are consequences. You may be separated from your adorable little anchor babies if you decide to play hide-and-seek with the law. It’s similar logic to getting pulled over for DUI while having your child in the car; immersion therapy, folks! Meanwhile, the current border czar insists that being undocumented isn’t a crime. So what’s next? Should we throw open the doors and call it a welcome party? The madness never ceases!
Let’s not forget about our beloved New York City, where Eric Adams has proclaimed that the city will no longer hand out food stamp vouchers to migrants. Honestly, it’s about time someone stood up to the questionable “humanity” of handing out money without a second thought. The headline alone probably made some celebrities who show up in designer sweatpants for charity events choke a little on their kombucha. Maybe those Hollywood big-shots should take the reins and start footing the bill if they’re so keen on helping. They have more cash than they know what to do with, so it’s only fair, right?
But in typical fashion, what sent the left into a tizzy is the fact that Trump’s team includes immigration hardliners. They were shaking in their ethically-sourced boots, convinced that the slogan “America First” was just a catchy facade. In reality, it’s about to become a way of life again. And let’s be honest, those who were still clinging to the notion that mass deportations were just a pipedream might want to wake up and smell the coffee. It’s better late than never, especially with a clear message that party invitations will be going out based on national interest moving forward.
So there you have it: a new era of common sense at the border as Tom Homan steps in, ready to take names and kick some serious bureaucratic butt while liberals grab their fainting couches. Call it what you will—an exercise in faith in America, a lesson in accountability, or maybe just a much-needed reality check. Either way, those heart palpitations among the left are sure to continue, and honestly, that’s just good old-fashioned American entertainment. Buckle up, folks; it’s going to be quite the ride.
