Staff Reports
In the topsy-turvy world of internet hysteria, there seems to be a never-ending supply of head-scratchers, especially when it comes to the latest chapter in Trump Derangement Syndrome. This past weekend, the social media frenzy reached new heights of absurdity when the left-wing folks on Twitter were practically foaming at the mouth, convinced that President Trump had exited the mortal coil simply because he hadn’t appeared in front of a camera in a few days. What’s the deal? Did they forget the man’s passion for hitting the golf course on a regular basis? Or were they just eager for a premature obituary?
Trump dared to work behind the scenes, moving a hefty piece of the military’s Space Command to Alabama, bringing a wave of jobs with it. This gave the left more reason to hope for his untimely demise—perhaps working citizens receiving jobs wasn’t on their holiday wishlist. Following days of bizarre speculation and questionable photo manipulations, the President finally held a press conference to clear the fantastical fog. He was barely aware that a segment of internet users had already planned his funeral. In their desperation, they clung to a distorted image and claimed it was “enhanced” by AI, which ended up making him look like he’d had a Halloween makeup mishap. Rather than realizing the picture was a pixelated disaster, they spun tales of medical conspiracies.
The frenzy dug deeper, with some amateur sleuths convinced they witnessed a secretive presidential trip to Walter Reed Medical Center. Apparently, road closures around a military base were enough proof of a covert medical crisis. It wasn’t a wild holiday weekend unless social media detectives were at it, right? They gleefully shared rumors about mystery helicopters and imaginary medical staffers rushing to his side. Because, clearly, any break in Trump’s busy press calendar could only mean his sudden fall into ill health, according to the zealots hoping for him to vanish into the pages of history.
As always, mainstream media—never ones to miss out on an opportunity to fuel rumors—covered the cracking conspiracy spectacle with headlines like “Trump Denies He’s Dead.” It’s almost like they didn’t notice Biden’s occasional vanishing acts when he eschews the press for weeks without the sky falling. But when it comes to Trump, the absurd becomes newsworthy. How dare he not provide daily media fodder? The audacity!
While Twitter was busy spreading digital tales of demise, real chaos unfolded over the weekend with alarming violence in cities like Chicago. But why worry about actual issues like deadly shootings when there’s a speculative health crisis to chase after? Trump’s commitments to national security and job creation took a back seat to fantastical fantasies spun in social media’s echo chamber. Chicago’s periodic storm of violence was dismissed as usual background noise, while Trump was criticized without his usual robust sparring partner.
In the end, the President reminded everyone that despite the left’s fervent hopes, he remains alive—much to their chagrin—and still a master at sparking spectacle just by being himself. Unfortunately for those rooting for his downfall, reality grounded their flight of fancy with the kind of buzzkill found only when wild conjecture meets undeniable truth.
