Staff Reports
Ah, TikTok, that magical land where logic is as rare as a unicorn sighting and common sense, has taken an extended vacation to a tropical paradise. Recently, the platform has become a stage for what can only be described as feminist meltdowns, complete with hair-shaving (because, obviously, that’s the path to empowerment) and enough drama to rival a daytime soap opera. These “radical” ladies, and we use the term loosely, seem intent on showcasing how absurd things can get when reality hits them like a brick wall.
Enter the latest trend: the 4B movement – a feminist phenomenon that has crossed the ocean from South Korea to the good ol’ US of A. The ladies at the helm of this new wave have vowed to swear off dating, marriage, and even children, which they believe will set them free. It’s like they took a look at abstinence and said, “Eureka! What a novel idea!” Who knew that the key to empowerment was throwing in the towel and declaring war on everything resembling a traditional lifestyle? Meanwhile, normal young women are trying to talk sense into these self-proclaimed radicals, all while simultaneously mocking their bizarre antics.
Imagine being so mad at the world that you’re excited your future children might grow up in a world governed by complete chaos. One TikTok user lamented that without Kamala Harris in office, she wouldn’t be able to bask in the glory of watching boys compete against girls in sports—because nothing says “empowerment” like equality through extended defeat! Who needs fair competition when you can take the gold medal by virtue signaling?
And who can forget the iconic cries of the “liberal pathogen” epidemic? Admittedly, conservative women had to raise a brow when they learned how many of these ladies were convinced that they were being denied rights. Newsflash: Voting, working, and living as you choose are still on the menu! Somehow, in their quest to prove how oppressed they are, they forgot to check their privileges. Heck, even their grandmothers must be shaking their heads in disbelief while thinking about how they fought for the rights that these young whippersnappers are now throwing away!
In an especially delightful twist of irony, it appears that while some drag their families into their personal soap operas over political preferences, the rest of us are raising our glasses in celebration. Things get dense when familial love becomes a casualty of political identity. Of course, we’re left wondering: is this the world they want? A place where refusing to date men becomes a revolutionary act? Sounds more like the groundwork for a dystopian rom-com that we’re all too eager to skip.
As they continue their charges against the supposedly oppressive constructs of society, we can’t help but hope they remember one thing: Not every fight requires shaving your head or abandoning your family. Perhaps they should take a page from their conservative counterparts who realize that maintaining relationships—even with those who think differently—is where genuine empowerment lies. Instead, as they don their face masks and continue their “protests” from the comfort of Instagram filters, perhaps they should remember that the only thing they’re succeeding at is providing the rest of us with endless entertainment. So here’s to the modern feminist: may her TikTok reign forever be shined with the brilliance of satire and the absurdity she provides!
