Staff Reports
Ah, Netflix, the gift that keeps on giving, especially if what you’re looking for is a steady stream of barely-noticeable indoctrination aimed at kids. It seems that every other day, some parent discovers a new cartoon with an agenda lurking behind the brightly colored animations and catchy tunes. Yes, folks, it’s transberry madness out there, and Strawberry Shortcake is leading the charge. One minute it’s a delightful story about dessert-topped adventures, and the next, it’s a full-on lesson in identity politics, complete with its very own character introduced as non-binary. Who needs subtlety when you’ve got a Netflix subscription, right?
Elon Musk, ever the hero of common sense, has raised the alarm. If Strawberry Shortcake and her friends can be found in controversial storylines, surely it’s time to cancel subscriptions en masse. Apparently, these episodes have been hiding in plain sight since 2022—but hey, better late than never. The creators might call it art, we call it a rainbow-washed conspiracy aimed at turning snack time into a leftist symposium on living one’s “most authentic self.” Whatever happened to just picking a different pastry from the dessert cart?
It’s not only about the shortcakes, though—the ghastly parade of agendas continues with paranormal parks and non-binary bison. Just imagine, a cartoon with a trans character who can be themselves like anywhere else. Imagine the audacity! It’s like they forgot animation is supposed to reflect reality, where everyone conforms to one pre-approved model of normalcy. Did anyone think of the poor zombies trying to blend in? But no, the agenda must be pushed forward, leaving no magical creature un-labeled.
Introducing Ada Twist, Scientist, which has been noted for its engaging science-based content aimed at inspiring kids, although it has been embroiled in debate over its portrayal of diversity. A show about science should stick to the wonders of chemistry and physics, right? But no, let’s assume there might be fears of turning a show meant to inspire the next Marie Curie into a flashy wedding planning episode, which seems unfounded in this context.
Then, we come to the pièce de résistance—Cocomelon Lane. What was once a seemingly innocent series is imagined by critics as a reality show for toddlers, despite these claims not holding up under scrutiny. It’s enough to make one wonder what happened to the good old days when bibs, not tutus, were the family’s attire choice for their youngest member.
Remember, it wasn’t always like this. There was a time when cartoons needed no deep dives into alternative lifestyles—perhaps just a couple of healthy lessons on sharing and some slapstick humor. It’s a strange new world these cartoons are building, one crosswalk at a time, painted in all the colors of the tried and tested palette. Beware, dear readers, and maybe it’s time to start watching the classics again. Who knows what messages might be embedded next?
