Staff Reports
New York City just held its first-ever Pigeon Impersonation Pageant. It happened during Pigeon Fest at the High Line park. Contestants dressed as pigeons and strutted around to win “Top Pigeon of NYC.” This bizarre event showed how far some will go for attention.
Seven weirdos competed by wearing homemade pigeon costumes. They flapped, squawked, and pranced for judges. Miriam, a British artist, won first prize with her chicken wire outfit. She admitted her vision and hearing were blocked by the costume during the contest.
Miriam spent four weeks building her ridiculous pigeon costume. Her papier-mâché creation looked like something from a kindergarten arts project. She seemed proud of winning such a pointless title. But real New Yorkers know this isn’t something to celebrate.
The High Line’s leaders promised this would be the only pigeon impersonation contest ever. They called it a one-time event before moving to “the next thing.” Thank goodness – this nonsense shouldn’t become a tradition. Public parks should be for people, not bird cosplay.
Pigeon Fest also featured games and merchandise celebrating these flying rats. The High Line even unveiled a giant pigeon statue last year. This glorifies pests that litter our city streets and spread disease. Why honor vermin instead of solving real problems?
This festival wasted taxpayer-funded park resources on trivial nonsense. While New York faces serious crime and homelessness, activists threw a party for disease-carrying birds. It shows how broken our priorities have become under liberal leadership.
Hardworking citizens don’t have time for such foolishness. They’re struggling with inflation and unsafe streets. Yet elites hosted a pigeon costume contest as if we lived in fantasyland. This is what happens when leaders focus on woke distractions over real issues.
New York deserves better than degenerate spectacles like pigeon impersonation. Our great city used to represent ambition and grit. Now we’re known for grown adults squawking in bird costumes. This embarrassing event proves how far our culture has fallen.
