Staff Reports
In a spectacular twist of irony, President-elect Donald Trump has taken Governor Gavin Newsom to task over the wildfires ravaging Los Angeles, suggesting that the governor’s choices are as flammable as the infernos themselves. According to Trump, the problem stems from Newsom’s refusal to sign a water restoration declaration, which could have allowed precious water resources to flow into fire-stricken areas. Instead, Newsom’s priorities seem focused on protecting a tiny fish species known as the Delta smelt, which at this point could probably star in its own reality show: “Survivor: Fish Edition.”
The situation, as Trump describes it, paints a grim picture of California’s leadership. With fire hydrants running dry and firefighters pleading for water that simply isn’t there, the narrative merges absurdity with tragedy. Trump emphasized that it takes a special kind of cluelessness to prioritize an “essentially worthless” fish over the survival of California’s residents and infrastructure. The president-elect promised a future Florida-style water flow, claiming that restoring the water supply will be among his first acts when he takes office. If he has his way, California might just find itself swimming in water—if only it could be diverted from the ever-important Delta smelt.
🚨 FLASHBACK: Trump is RIGHT about California's environmental policies protecting a fish resulting in a major water issue, fueling these fires.
That's right. Fish over people, in California.
"Biologists have tried saving the fish, in part, by withholding fresh river runoff… pic.twitter.com/BdG00Hhj5w
— Eric Daugherty (@EricLDaugh) January 8, 2025
According to reports swirling around this fiery disaster, the lack of water at crucial moments for firefighting appears to be a blunder of colossal proportions. Firefighters in upscale neighborhoods—where, incidentally, residents expect luxury services to extend to, say, functioning fire hydrants—became increasingly frustrated. It’s a sad day when the fire hydrants are as dry as California’s humor during a state-wide drought. The blaze has resulted in significant property loss and tragically, loss of life, with insurance companies now questioning their ability to cover this catastrophe. Perhaps they didn’t factor in the likelihood of a leader forgetting the first rule of an emergency: water is good.
As the flames danced angrily across the hills, Governor Newsom officially declared a state of emergency. One can’t help but think it’s a wee bit late for that. Critics argue that he should have been more vigilant, especially when winds were howling and fire risks were through the roof. Instead of prepping for what everyone knew was coming, he took a more “let’s wait and see” approach, only to discover that waiting is a great way to watch everything go up in smoke.
Newsom’s nonchalance is not without precedent. Having previously filed lawsuits against the Trump administration over water management policies, Newsom seems to have chosen to drown in legal complexities rather than focus on his primary responsibility: protecting Californians. Following a federal rule change that might have actually aided in alleviating such crises, Newsom’s preference for litigation over action appears all the more glaring in light of the devastation. This begs the question: is it time for California to reevaluate its leadership when the flames are licking at your doorstep?
It’s clear that the ongoing catastrophe is emblematic of a larger pattern of incompetence—what some might cleverly refer to as the “Biden/Newscum Duo.” As the landscape evolves from lush Californian hills to charred remains, it becomes increasingly apparent that leadership amid a crisis means knowing when to prioritize people over fish. It’s an unfortunate truth in California that while fires rage, someone’s more worried about legislative fish-tank policies than about putting out literal flames.
