Staff Reports
Under a bill signed into law by President Biden, TikTok’s Chinese parent company, ByteDance, has until January 19 to either find a U.S. buyer for the app or face a ban that could send the dancing teens into the void of cyberspace. It’s almost as if Biden is trying to put the “ban” back in “bandwagon.” Meanwhile, former President Trump, who seems to believe he’s the only one who can save TikTok from obscurity, has turned to the Supreme Court in a bid to extend this deadline. Spoiler alert: the boys in black robes are less than eager to play ball.
Trump’s legal team filed a brief arguing that only he possesses the elite dealmaking skills to negotiate TikTok’s fate while also tending to national security concerns. His legal eagle asserted that Trump’s unique blend of political will and experience is just what the app needs right now. While folks could argue that relying on TikTok for national security solutions might be a questionable strategy at best, Trump’s team sees it as an opportunity to solidify his standing, yet again, as a self-proclaimed savior of all things American.
‼️UPDATE‼️The Supreme Court signals it will uphold the TikTok ban & they will be voting tonight over concerns about Chinese ownership. If app not sold by Jan 19th you will still be able to use it but not update it & new phones be unable to download
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The “Free market” in action pic.twitter.com/A7PVrmJR0B— TheArmchairAnalyst (@Sitting_Analyst) January 11, 2025
While all of this unfolds, TikTok’s parent company is attempting to cast the looming ban as a violation of the First Amendment, as if the Constitution guarantees a right to post 15-second dance videos with reckless abandon. Their argument might be more convincing if it weren’t for the fact that their business roots reach deep into China, a country that doesn’t exactly enjoy a reputation for safeguarding individual rights. One can almost hear the faint echoes of libertarians and conservatives alike scratching their heads over a Chinese company appealing to American ideals.
Inside the Supreme Court, the justices seem less interested in TikTok’s viral dance-offs and more concerned with the potential for espionage. The Solicitor General laid out the frightening prospect that the loose data protection could easily lead to Big Brother-style surveillance—thanks, in part, to the Chinese government’s grip on its companies. Chief Justice John Roberts reminded everyone that the PRC has laws compelling ByteDance to cooperate with its intelligence operations. Oh, you thought TikTok was just about lip-syncing and trendy dances? Think again. It’s a real-life cautionary tale of tech and tyranny.
Even Justice Brett Kavanaugh weighed in, highlighting the apparent threat posed by allowing TikTok to operate unregulated in the U.S. The stakes here aren’t just about a few viral videos; they circle back to the broader concerns over national security. It appears that while TikTok might appeal to younger demographics, its strategic implications are causing enough of a stir to rival a minor political earthquake. Just another day in the land of the free, grappling with the complexities of modern technology and foreign interests.
