Staff Reports
Donald Trump kicked off his latest victory lap by ringing the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange, a move that signaled not only his newfound status as Time’s 2024 Person of the Year but also served as a reminder of the economy before it took a nosedive under the current administration. Flanked by family members—who, let’s be honest, should probably bring their own camera crew at this point—Trump reminisced about his “comeback” win in the recent election and laid out the ambitious plans he has for his second term while seated atop a throne of business acumen and unapologetic braggadocio.
Reflecting on his election campaign, which some have dubbed “72 Days of Fury,” Trump boldly claimed to have run a “flawless campaign.” While others might need a thesaurus to find a synonym for “flawless,” Trump left little room for ambiguity. Between dodging two assassination attempts and outsmarting a smorgasbord of opponents, it’s a miracle he found the time to focus on the issues. The economy and illegal immigration top his list of priorities for a second term, a more sensible selection than his family’s Thanksgiving dinner seating arrangement debate.
I keep saying it, and I mean it. You just can’t outlast Trump.
Joe Rogan on how TRUMP WENT WITHOUT SLEEP FOR 72 HOURS and still delivered the speech on election night.
“Dana White told me he’d been up for 72 hours… I go, how is that possible?” pic.twitter.com/7gkHDvwfHT
— Patrick Bet-David – CEO of Valuetainment (Parody) (@notPBD) November 10, 2024
When it comes to grocery prices, Trump’s spin on inflation reads like a plot twist in a soap opera. On the campaign trail, voters were promised that a vote for Trump meant grocery bills would plummet to pre-Biden levels. However, during a recent interview, he exhibited a moment of honesty—or perhaps just a rare break from his usual bravado—by admitting that lowering grocery prices is trickier than it sounds. It’s hard to imagine how the guy who built a billion-dollar empire suddenly finds grocery prices perplexing. But in Trump’s world, hope springs eternal coupled with a dash of dramatic flair—now that’s a reality show worth tuning into.
Turning to immigration, the ever-controversial topic of asylum seekers at the southern border, Trump is sticking to his guns. He’s adamant about pushing for increased deportations, even hinting at the possible need for detention facilities. His nuance on detention camps might need a bit of polishing; first he’s against them, then he’s open to the idea. It’s a delicate dance only a seasoned politician could pull off. Perhaps he’s angling for a three-part docu-series on “The Many Shades of Trump.”
On social issues, the former president portrays himself as a tightrope walker straddling the lines of abortion and transgender rights. Trying to appease conservatives while not alienating moderates, he weaved his way through nuanced topics like medication abortion and school bathrooms like a contestant on a reality show where the stakes couldn’t be higher—except, of course, for ratings. Meanwhile, he takes a cavalier stand on the Supreme Court, insisting that whatever ruling comes out, he’s on board, as his allegiance shifts like the wind depending on who appears in the latest Twitter trending list.
As if the political circus wasn’t enough, Trump tossed in a sprinkle of familial legacy talk, hinting at the potential of son-in-law Lara Trump carrying on the Trump legacy. Meanwhile, in an unexpected endorsement for rising stars in the political arena, he touted Don Jr. and Ivanka as future leaders. In a world full of serious issues, it’s comforting to think the Trump brand will live on through another generation, whether that’s a blessing or a curse is still up for debate. As for the details on his Cabinet picks, the anticipation is palpable, leaving Americans to wonder what chaos the Trump team will cook up next.
