Staff Reports
The Vatican makin’ some major U-turns, y’all! They gone and flipped the script on their ban on blessin’ homosexual couples. The word on the street is that a blessing can now be “offered to all without requiring anything.” Can you believe it?
The Church is blessing sin.
Vatican Reverses Ban on Blessing Gay Couples https://t.co/xayaVwygWK via @BreitbartNews
— John Ocasio-Rodham Nolte (@NolteNC) December 18, 2023
Back in March, them Vatican bigwigs said the Church can’t be blessin’ unions between homosexicals ’cause God don’t be blessin’ no sin. They laid it out plain and simple: if there’s any hanky-panky happenin’ outside of marriage, like in them same-sex relationships, ain’t no blessin’ allowed.
But them progressive Church folks, especially them German-speaking ones, weren’t havin’ it. They got madder than a wet hen and said the Vatican was bein’ all high and mighty and discriminatin’ against homosexicals.
Then, outta the blue, the Vatican did a 180 and started singin’ a whole new tune, y’all. They said blessin’ homosexual couples don’t gotta be all about followin’ God’s will. They reckon it can just be a nice pastoral gesture without co-signin’ all the sin and whatnot.
Cardinal Fernández, the new head honcho of the Vatican’s doctrinal office, is all about this newfangled blessin’ business. He’s talkin’ ’bout how blessin’ sinful relationships shows off God’s love and mercy without gettin’ all caught up in moral perfection.
They even said blessin’s should be for everyone, no matter what they’ve been up to! So, now I reckon even folks runnin’ them sweatshops and doin’ all sorts of shady things could line up for a blessin’ without no questions asked.
I mean, can y’all believe it? The Vatican’s just handin’ out blessin’s left and right like they’re goin’ outta style. But hey, I guess in the end, we all just pilgrims lookin’ for a little love and blessin’, right? Bless ’em all, I say!
