Staff Reports
The Democratic Party saga continues as President Joe Biden has officially decided to exit the 2024 presidential race. Yet, in a move that seems both desperate and perplexing, he’s handed the baton to Vice President Kamala Harris despite having serious doubts about her viability in the race. Far from the usual farewell spectacle, Biden’s departure came via a phone call that resembled a late-night infomercial more than a presidential announcement. Five days of silence followed by a slurred goodbye? The man sounds more like a tired grandpa trying to remember his grandchildren’s names than the president of the United States.
Biden’s phone appearance took place at Harris’s campaign headquarters in Wilmington, Delaware, which is presumably nicer than the basement he retreated to for the last half-week. Slumping on speakerphone, he expressed understanding of the disappointment from his supporters, adamantly declaring that his choice to step back was, somehow, in everyone’s best interest. Never one to shy away from bizarre statements, Biden pledged to hit the campaign trail for Harris, assuring everyone that yes, he is, in fact, still alive—barely, it seems.
Kamala Harris: "Thank you, Joe"
Joe's frail voice (phone): "No, thank you"
Kamala: "And I have Joe's endorsement"
Joe's frail voice (phone): "Ya you sure do" pic.twitter.com/VglCxNr773
— End Wokeness (@EndWokeness) July 22, 2024
Yet, the real head-scratcher comes from a mere glance at the timeline. After contracting COVID, Biden has been MIA for nearly a week—leading many to wonder if running for reelection was too strenuous for him, or if he just decided to take an extended vacation from reality. A historic moment for the party, and all that the public gets is a generic tweet proclaiming his resignation and some garbled voice on the phone. One can only imagine the scenes at the HQ when someone asked if they could get a picture of the President. Spoiler alert: crickets.
Biden confirms he'll be "out there in the campaign with her, with Kamala."
He then calls President Trump "a danger to the community" — just over a week after he was nearly assassinated. pic.twitter.com/AexVei2tX4
— RNC Research (@RNCResearch) July 22, 2024
The situation took a sharp turn when it was revealed that Harris plans to retain Biden’s top campaign aides. Does this mean she’ll be following a path of ineptitude laid out by the man who fumbled his way through three and a half years of leadership? Harris’s faith in Biden’s staff suggests she might be aiming for a spectacular crash-and-burn campaign of her own, which would certainly make for interesting viewing as the election approaches. After all, nothing screams “please vote for me” like a direct link to a legacy of unfulfilled promises.
One can’t help but chuckle at the public inquiry into Biden’s health; Google searches for “Is Biden dead?” have shot up past “Donate to Kamala.” Talk about a PR nightmare. And unbeknownst to the crowd at Harris’s event, it sounded suspiciously like Biden was still on hold. This raises the question: was the President speaking through a recording? The atmosphere of confusion even allowed Kamala to spout some comedy gold, claiming Biden’s unprecedented accomplishments during his single term rival those of two-term presidents. Outranking the likes of Reagan, Clinton, and Obama in just three years? Someone should remind her that reality doesn’t take sugarcoating.
With Biden promising a formal address to the nation about his surprising decision to step down—whenever that might happen—Americans are left to wonder what’s next. Between the Vice President’s uninspired campaign strategies and the President’s apparent disappearance act, the Democratic ticket for 2024 may be the most entertaining show in electoral history. Buckle up; it’s bound to be a bumpy and entertaining ride.
