Biden Flees Press, Dodges Questions: Sleepy Joe Strikes Again!

Critics have been on the hunt for proof that President Joe Biden is a flop, and this weekend, they may have hit the jackpot. It seems that ol’ Sleepy Joe couldn’t handle the heat after a press conference and practically sprinted offstage. Maybe he was in a hurry to catch the early bird special or take a nap, who knows?

According to the most reliable news source in the universe, Fox News, this incident occurred during Biden’s trip to Vietnam after the G20 summit. The president took a grand total of five questions before casually mentioning that he was “going to bed.” Wow, talk about dedication to the job. I guess the weight of the world is just too much for poor Biden’s delicate constitution.

But don’t worry, folks, he did manage to babble a bit before he scurried away. When asked about his meeting with Chinese Premier Li Qiang, Biden stumbled through his words like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar. He babbled on about “stability” and something about the Third World and the Southern Hemisphere having “access to change.” What does that even mean? It’s like trying to decipher a secret code or a toddler’s rant.

Oh, but that’s not all! Earlier in the day, Biden took a swing at climate change skeptics, calling them “a lot of lying, dog-faced pony soldiers.” Well, isn’t that a charming way to win people over? Nothing says presidential like name-calling. But hey, at least he finally admitted that climate change is a problem. I guess the man is capable of seeing the light, even if he needs a few insults to get there.

Of course, the White House had to defend our dear leader’s missteps. A White House official defended Biden’s performance, telling Fox News that he “substantively answered questions from 7 reporters.” Right, because mumbling a bunch of nonsense counts as substantive answers. Maybe the official forgot that the American people deserve a president who can articulate their thoughts coherently.

All in all, it’s just another day in the life of President Joe Biden. It seems the complaints about his mental and physical stamina may not be so unfounded after all. But hey, at least he’s consistent. Consistently confusing, that is. God help us all.

Written by Staff Reports

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