Biden Spins Wild Tale of Uncle and Cannibals, Faces Backlash

Folks, hold onto your hats because it looks like old Joe Biden may have taken a little too much creative writing juice before spinning this wild yarn about his Uncle Bosie getting gobbled up by cannibals in New Guinea during World War II. Now, we all know politicians love a good story, but this one seems to have more twists and turns than a rollercoaster at Six Flags.

First off, let’s set the record straight – Biden’s uncle wasn’t even flying the plane that went down, he was just along for the ride. And instead of being shot down in a blaze of glory, the plane decided to take an unexpected dip into the Pacific Ocean due to some engine troubles. No bullets flying, just a pesky engine failure.

And as for those cannibals Joe mentioned, turns out there’s no evidence that they had anything to do with poor Uncle Bosie’s disappearance. In fact, the Defense POW/MIA Accounting Agency reports that his body was lost at sea, not on the menu for some hungry natives. 


Unsurprisingly, the good folks of New Guinea weren’t exactly thrilled with Biden’s off-the-cuff remarks. They didn’t appreciate being painted as a bunch of human-eating savages when they’re actually a proud people with a rich culture. Michael Kabuni and Maholopa Laveil from the University of Papua New Guinea spoke out against Biden’s remarks, stating that it’s not a good look for PNG, especially when they’re trying to build positive relations with the US.

But hey, wouldn’t it be a hoot if former President Trump decided to one-up Biden by spinning his own tale of a heroic relative meeting a similar, albeit fictional fate? The media would have a field day with that one!

Stay tuned for the next episode of “Biden’s Tall Tales”, where we’ll see if he starts claiming he rode a unicorn to school or discovered Bigfoot in his backyard. Anything is possible in the world of politics, folks!

Written by Staff Reports

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