Staff Reports
As the campaign clock ticks down to what some call a monumental election—although, let’s be honest, isn’t every election the most important?—we find ourselves on one side of the aisle with Donald Trump, confidently rolling out a message akin to his famous “Make America Great Again.” Meanwhile, on the opposite side, we have Kamala Harris, whose campaign strategy seems to rely heavily on star power and celebrity endorsements, more reminiscent of a poorly scripted Hollywood blockbuster than a serious political campaign. It’s like watching a reality TV show where the plot twist is that nobody knows the plot.
Take, for instance, old Han Solo himself, Harrison Ford, stepping into the political arena for the first time. Move over George Lucas; we have a new rebel in town backing Kamala Harris. Forget deep policy discussions! Who needs those when you can have a Hollywood icon—who hasn’t made a good movie in years—add his name to the mix? Harris reportedly promises to protect your right to disagree while simultaneously using Twitter to silence those who dare to disagree with her. One has to wonder what exactly Ford thinks he’s signing up for—an endorsement or just a confusing role in the sequel nobody asked for?
Then there are the climate change warriors like Leonardo DiCaprio, who endorses Harris while conveniently ignoring the fact that hurricane devastation might have something to do with poor resource management rather than just climate change. When did the environmental narrative shift from dealing with hurricanes as natural disasters to blaming them on human behavior, while the Biden Administration seems to have misplaced FEMA’s budget in a game of legislative hide-and-seek? It’s almost as if the memory of the ozone layer fears from the 90s flew out the window along with common sense.
But wait—there’s more. Seth Rogan chimed in, mistakenly believing that illegal weed is the only thing standing between America and its full potential. Harris, the self-proclaimed weed warrior, seems to have his back on this one, despite her record suggesting she was more about putting people behind bars for it than advocating for a smoke sesh in the park. It’s a radical pivot, more surprising than a plot twist in a soap opera. But let’s be real; if your sole reason for backing a candidate is to score some legal THC, perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate your political priorities.
As if the endorsements couldn’t get any more cringe-worthy, the Avengers assembled (though thankfully not in full costume) to deliver their blend of convoluted politics and shaky guest stars. LeBron James, a basketball player with a penchant for endorsements, leaped into the fray of “big breaking news” as if the world collectively gasped at his love for Kamala. But really, how does a sports star’s opinion on something wholly distanced from a basketball court echo in the halls of democracy? Perhaps it’s time we remind these celebrities that just because they can throw a ball doesn’t mean they can throw political punches.
Meanwhile, comical occurrences continue to surface as Rick Steves, a travel TV show host, compares World War II to help sell Harris’s campaign. Let’s unpack that—a travel guide presenting a history lesson to support a current election? Someone hand him an award for overstretching relevancy. “Remember Hitler?” he quipped, continuing to show that when in doubt, compare your political opponents to a dictator. Nothing says “vote for me” like invoking the most notorious historical figure to make your point.
The cherry on top of this absurd political sundae is the candid reminder that if you’re still sitting on the sidelines, disillusioned and abandoning the ballot box because you think it’s all rigged, you might be part of the problem. Those who chew on conspiracy theories and wallow in defeatism may find their apathy leads to grim realities. So, while Hollywood throws its A-list antics into the air, everyday Americans need to turn off their screens and step into reality. If you want your voice heard, make it loud and clear—preferably before the credits roll on this political drama.
