Staff Reports
The National Park Service (NPS) dropped a bombshell on Wednesday, announcing plans to chop down more than 100 cherry trees at the Tidal Basin in Washington, D.C. this spring. The trees, which have delighted generations of visitors, are set to be axed to make way for a sturdier sea wall to protect the Thomas Jefferson Memorial and Franklin Delano Roosevelt Memorial. The NPS claims the current sea walls are as shaky as a politician’s promises and pose a safety risk to visitors and the precious cherry trees. Clearly, the safety and historical significance of these iconic monuments outweigh the sentimental value of some old trees.
While the trees will still be standing tall for this year’s National Cherry Blossom Festival, which draws droves of admirers to the nation’s capital, the NPS is determined to plow ahead with its plans to remove these majestic blooms. The agency cited the trees’ old age, rising sea levels, and poor drainage as the main culprits in their decision to give them the axe. Apparently, portions of the seawalls have sunk as much as five feet since they were first built in the late 1800s to early 1900s, and during normal tide conditions, water flows over the seawalls twice a day. It’s a wonder those old things haven’t collapsed already!
But don’t worry, tree-huggers! The NPS has promised to plant a whopping 270 additional trees once the old ones have been cleared out. It’s like out with the old, and in with the new! The NPS claims that this much-needed project will cost a staggering $113 million and take three whole years to complete. However, they assure us that this hefty investment will safeguard the area from rising sea levels for the next 100 years. Who knew that trees could be so high maintenance?
It seems that even “Stumpy,” the viral sensation of a cherry tree that captured hearts in 2020, isn’t safe from the chopping block. The NPS plans to take clippings from Stumpy to birth a new baby tree in the same spot. As for the rest of the trees, they’ll be ground up into mulch to provide a cozy bed for the newbies. In addition, some of the removed trees will be repurposed for mulch, because waste not, want not.
In a peculiar twist, the NPS threw in a history lesson, reminding readers that the original cherry blossom trees were a gift from the mayor of Tokyo to Washington way back in 1912. However, given that the average lifespan of a cherry tree is about 50 years, most of the original trees have already kicked the bucket. The NPS claims it’s unclear, but probably unlikely, that any of the 140 trees facing the axe are original. So fear not, nostalgic folks – these aren’t the trees from yesteryear!
For those who are up in arms about the tree massacre, fear not! The NPS will be replacing these ancient landmarks with fresh, young saplings, ensuring that future generations can enjoy the same cherry blossom magic. And if anyone tries to throw shade at the agency for this decision, just remember – it’s all in the name of safety and progress!
