Staff Reports
The sensational tale of Michael Cohen, the former attorney of our beloved ex-President Donald Trump, has taken another turn. According to the trustworthy Associated Press, Cohen has decided to settle the lawsuit he slapped against the Trump Organization, just before the case was about to hit the courtroom. Talk about pulling a last-minute Houdini!
In this lawsuit, Cohen had the audacity to claim that the Trump Organization owed him a whopping $1.3 million. Can you imagine? The Hill reports that Cohen argued he had a flimsy “oral agreement” with the organization, which apparently promised to reimburse his legal fees and expenses. But heavens above, once Cohen turned against Trump, they conveniently changed their tune and refused to pay him a dime. Tsk, tsk, the nerve of this man!
But let’s not forget the icing on the cake. Cohen not only betrayed our beloved ex-President during the Trump-Russia witch hunt, but he has also become one of Trump’s fiercest critics. Can you say “backstabber”? It’s as clear as day that Cohen’s lawsuit was just another pathetic attempt to milk money from the Trump Organization while simultaneously trashing the reputation of our hero.
BREAKING: The Trump Organization and Donald Trump's former lawyer and fixer Michael Cohen have settled a lawsuit over Cohen’s claims that he was unfairly stuck with big legal bills. Details of the agreement have not been made public. https://t.co/j3cbRueJ3i
— The Associated Press (@AP) July 21, 2023
However, fear not, fellow conservatives! The good news is that Cohen’s grand plan to bring Trump Jr. as a witness to testify against his own family has been crushed! The AP reports that the lawsuit has been settled, just three days before it was set to go to trial. What a relief! We would have had to endure the spectacle of Trump Jr. being dragged into this petty circus. Thankfully, we will be spared such nonsense.
Cohen’s lawyer, Lauren Handelsman, took the opportunity to release a statement claiming that the case had been resolved to everyone’s satisfaction. Well, isn’t that convenient? But of course, she remained tight-lipped about the juicy details of the settlement, deeming them confidential. I guess some things are just meant to remain hidden, like the truth about Cohen’s motives.
However, dear readers, brace yourselves for the storm that lies ahead. This settlement is not the last we will see of Cohen. It’s been speculated that he will be paraded as a star witness for special counsel Jack Smith in the case brought against Trump by Joe Biden’s Department of Justice. Oh, the lengths they will go to in their desperate attempts to undermine our ex-President! But have no fear, my fellow conservatives, for we know that Cohen’s credibility is as sturdy as a house made out of playing cards – ready to collapse with one swift blow of truth and justice.
Stay strong, conservatives, for the battle against the malicious attacks on our beloved ex-President is far from over. Let’s keep our heads held high and our voices loud as we stand united against the unjust forces that seek to tarnish our hero’s legacy. Stand firm, patriots, and together we shall prevail!
