DC Desperation Dance: Save the Nats, Woo the Commies!

The Washington, D.C. City Council is frantically scrambling to keep the Washington Nationals from fleeing to the greener pastures of Virginia while also trying to lure the NFL’s Commanders back into the city.

In a desperate attempt to keep the Nationals in the district, the council held a hearing on legislation that would use sales tax revenue from Nationals Park and rent from the ballpark’s lease to fund maintenance. Council Chairman Phil Mendelson claimed this legislation would ensure a “stable future” for the stadium. But come on, let’s be real here. The only stable future they care about is their own political careers.

Gregory McCarthy, a big shot from the Nationals, whined to the council about needing a whopping $350 million for stadium upgrades over the next 14 years. Perhaps they should consider teaching their players some fiscal responsibility and ask them to chip in for the upgrades. After all, they’re the ones making millions while playing a game.

The prospect of losing not one, but two professional sports teams has the council sweating bullets. Councilman Charles Allen even brought up the horror story of when the Braves ditched Atlanta for the suburbs. It’s like watching a reality TV show with all this drama.

Meanwhile, the district is also trying to sweet-talk the NFL’s Commanders into building a new stadium in Washington, D.C. The House of Representatives even passed a bill to give the city free rein over the land where the former RFK Stadium stands, hoping to lure the Commanders back after they abandoned the city for the cozy suburbs of Maryland back in ’97.

So, as the city showers the Nationals with cash and flirts with the Commanders, I guess the Wizards and Capitals might end up being the ugly stepsisters in this sports fairytale. But hey, who needs professional basketball and hockey teams when you’ve got baseball and football, right?

Written by Staff Reports

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