Hunter Biden’s Legal Team Files for New Trial, Armed with Bold Second Amendment Defense

Hunter Biden’s legal team is back at it again, trying every trick in the book to get the First Son out of hot water. Convicted on three felony gun charges earlier this month, Hunter is now facing the very real possibility of spending up to 25 years behind bars and coughing up $750,000 in fines. But never underestimate the creativity of a Biden in a corner.

Instead of accepting his fate, Hunter Biden’s attorneys have filed for a new trial, throwing a kitchen sink’s worth of arguments at the court. Their scattershot approach includes everything from claims of procedural errors to invoking the Second Amendment. Seems the playbook is: if you throw enough legal jargon at the wall, something’s bound to stick.

One of their arguments? The trial started before the ink dried on a last-minute appeal, rendering the entire process null and void—or so they argue. The attorneys contend that because the court allegedly lacked jurisdiction, the conviction should be nixed. They’re not disputing his guilt, just the timing and technicalities. It’s like trying to overturn a football game because the referee’s whistle was a fraction of a second late.

These high-priced lawyers also argue that since Hunter Biden never terrorized anyone with a gun or waved it around in public, his Second Amendment rights should remain untouched. They even dare to challenge the notion that illegal drug use disqualified him from gun ownership, questioning the exact timeline of drug use and gun purchasing. The audacity of arguing when a crack addict can constitutionally buy a firearm is nothing short of laughable.

And if that wasn’t enough, Hunter Biden’s legal eagles are raising questions about how soon before purchasing a gun one must refrain from illegal drugs. So, if a crackhead takes a holiday from his habit for a week, does that mean he gets a green light to buy a Glock? These arguments are the legal equivalent of throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping something, anything, will stick.

Hunter Biden’s courtroom escapades are set to continue, with another trial looming in California in September for federal tax charges. As America waits, one thing’s for sure: this saga will make a dandy Netflix series one day. Stay tuned, folks. The Biden drama is far from over.

Written by Staff Reports

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

GOP Demands Answers on Quantico Attack, Biden’s DHS Dodges Accountability Again

Hunter Biden’s Law License Suspended After Felony Conviction