Newsom Returns from China, Pushes Intrusive Child Spy Program at Home!

Democratic California Gov. Gavin Newsom, fresh from his adventures in China, has announced a groundbreaking development in the state’s new data monitoring system for students. The Cradle-to-Career Data System, which aims to provide students with data-informed tools to help them achieve their college career goals, has received its first data installment and is already integrating over 1 billion data points, according to the California governor’s office.

But let’s talk about Newsom’s China trip for a moment. While he was there, he didn’t just sit around and eat fortune cookies. No, sir! He test drove Chinese electric vehicles, did some tobogganing down the Great Wall, and even had a cozy little meeting with General Secretary Xi Jinping. Talk about a busy itinerary!

Now, back to the data system. This thing is no joke. It analyzes students based on a whole list of metrics, including attendance, LGBT status, parental education level, and even homelessness and foster youth status. It’s like Big Brother, but with a California twist. Newsom is thrilled about it, saying that the system will be a game-changer for improving the lives of Californians.

And it’s not just about the students. The Cradle-to-Career data system will also provide detailed information on education and career outcomes, workforce trends, and more. They’ll break it all down by race, gender, ability, and geography. So, if you’ve ever wondered how your neighbor’s kid is doing in school, now you can find out!

But here’s the kicker. Newsom’s announcement came just after we learned that a Chinese influence operation took credit for inviting him to China. That’s right, the Chinese People’s Association For Friendship With Foreign Countries (CPAFFC) claimed responsibility for bringing Newsom over to the land of fortune cookies and silk robes. And it’s not just a casual “oh, by the way” thing. Newsom was rubbing shoulders with some high-ranking Communist Party officials. His trip wasn’t all fun and games!

So, while California is busy implementing this data system, we can’t help but wonder…is it just a coincidence that Newsom went to China and then came back with this groundbreaking announcement? Hmmm, something seems fishy. But hey, at least we’ll know everything about our kids now, right? Thanks, Newsom!

Written by Staff Reports

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