Staff Reports
The Secret Service, clearly unfazed by the recent assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump, announced Sunday that there will be no beefed-up security measures at the Republican National Convention. Apparently, they believe the same old playbook is more than adequate to protect GOP leaders and attendees.
Audrey Gibson-Cicchino, the Secret Service’s go-to person for the RNC, claimed preparations have been in the works for 18 months, so there’s nothing to worry about. According to her, the security plans are rock solid and ready to handle the national event. This comes right after a near-disastrous incident in Pennsylvania, where a would-be assassin took a shot at Trump during a rally.
Secret Service: No major changes for GOP convention after assassination attempthttps://t.co/Q4ZHJWB6lb pic.twitter.com/0YqZfMS5ok
— The Washington Times (@WashTimes) July 15, 2024
Thomas Matthew Crooks, a 20-year-old from Bethel Park, Pennsylvania, decided to play sniper from a rooftop just 150 yards from where Trump was speaking. He managed to kill a 50-year-old rally-goer named Corey Comperatore and severely injure two others before the Secret Service finally took him down. This incident should have had alarm bells ringing, but it’s business as usual for the Secret Service.
Michael Hensle, the bigwig at the Milwaukee Field Office, assured everyone that there are no known specific threats aimed at the GOP convention. Yep, because the surprise rooftop shooting apparently didn’t count as a “specific” threat. One can only hope their “adequate resources” are more than just costumed agents playing pretend.
Adding to the drama, Attorney General Merrick Garland promised that every federal resource would be thrown at the investigation. He waxed poetic about how the violence was an attack on democracy itself. Ok, Merrick, if that’s really the case, wouldn’t doubling down on security be, you know, a sane response?
Meanwhile, Trump, ever the fighter, declared on Truth Social that he won’t be letting any shooter or potential assassin change his schedule. He wasn’t deterred by a grazed and bloodied ear and was already gearing up for his next engagement in Milwaukee. America watches and waits while the bureaucratic wheels turn slower than a sloth on vacation. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your federal leadership in action.
