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Senate Border Deal Secrets, Scalise Says Big Fat “NO” to Open Border Madness

The bipartisan Senate border deal that was supposed to bring some much-needed relief to the ongoing border crisis is already crumbling like a stale cookie. Imagine the shock when House Majority Leader Steve Scalise swooped in with a resounding “NOPE” to the Senate’s grand plans. This bill is like trying to put out a forest fire with a water pistol, and Scalise made sure everyone knew it.

What’s got conservatives all riled up? How about a provision that practically rolls out the welcome mat for illegal immigrants? If the number of border crossings hits 5,000 a day for a week, the bill says, “Come on in and have a work permit!” Scalise didn’t mince words, calling that provision a “magnet for more illegal immigration.” It’s like telling people not to eat the ice cream in the fridge and then giving them the scoop and a cone.

And he’s not the only one fuming. House Speaker Mike Johnson, a Louisiana Republican and no fan of President Joe Biden’s handiwork, joined the chorus of outrage, declaring that if this border deal finds its way to the House, it’s as good as toast. It’s like watching a movie where the hero walks into a trap – predictable, but still frustrating.

But wait, there’s more! Connecticut Sen. Chris Murphy’s social media thread reads like a recipe for disaster. He boasted about the bill allowing a “brand new right to legal representation for all immigrants” and even threw in government-paid lawyers for young unaccompanied minors. It’s like a government-issued welcome wagon for anyone who can manage to sneak across the border. What’s next, a conga line?

Even Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell knows this bill is about as popular as a skunk at a garden party. He gave it a weak-kneed nod, trying to put some lipstick on this pig by blaming Biden for the border mess and urging tepid support for the bill. McConnell’s statement sounds about as convincing as a kid trying to explain why there’s a broken vase in the middle of the living room.

In the Senate, conservative Republicans are ready to rumble. Utah’s Mike Lee called the bill a “betrayal of the American people,” and Ohio’s J.D. Vance took aim at Murphy’s “the border never closes” line, calling it a summary of Biden’s failed border policy. It’s like watching a game of political dodgeball, with both sides hurling accusations and insults.

After this Sunday night bombshell, it’s clear that this border deal is about as popular as root canal without anesthesia. And with the 2024 election looming, conservatives are gearing up for what promises to be the fight of the century. It’s like a showdown at high noon – except it’s not just the cowboys, it’s the whole dang town.

Written by Staff Reports

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