Staff Reports
The newest evidence that veganism may be linked to mental deterioration is the arrest this past weekend of a faux meat firm CEO who chewed the skin off another man's nose out of fury.
Following a road rage incident at the University of Arkansas football stadium, Beyond Meat COO Doug Ramsey was charged on Saturday with terroristic threats and third-degree violence. After the Arkansas Razorbacks game, Ramsey assaulted a Subaru driver whose car had touched Ramsey's Ford Bronco in a parking garage. Ramsey allegedly knocked out the Subaru's back window and repeatedly struck the driver before "ripping the flesh on the tip of the nose"with his own teeth, according to local news sources.
Ramsey allegedly vowed to murder the Subaru driver after devouring his schnoz. Just before 10:30 p.m., Ramsey was taken into custody by the police and lodged in the Washington County prison under a $10,000 bail. Unknown whether the Subaru's driver was a grass-fed vegetarian in the United States, where hippies predominate.
After working for Tyson Foods in Arkansas for three decades, where he handled the company's alliance with McDonald's, Ramsey joined Beyond Meat in December. Since Ramsey was recruited, Beyond Meat's stock has dropped by over 80%, a hint that regular Americans are understandably afraid of the vegetarian society leftists envision.
The "Beyond Burger" producer seemed like a strange area for Ramsey to settle down since he matches the stereotype of the traditional meat-eater and owns a Broncos team. Ramsey's assault is not known to have been caused by a psychotic break brought on by protein deficiency, the toxins in vegan meat, or prolonged exposure to progressives, according to a Free Beacon investigation.
Liberals who think meat is harmful for the environment have become more and more enamoured with plant-based foods. However, some of these adamant herbivores have suggested that we consume bugs due to the inferior flavour of the products, such chicken strips that the New York Times characterised as "bland, unexciting and not very chicken-like"
Ramsey, who is slated to appear in Fayetteville District Court on October 19, was suspended, according to a statement released by Beyond Meat on Tuesday afternoon. Ramsey should avoid being accused of cannibalism since he just sampled the tip of the other white flesh.
The Washington Free Beacon was barred from the University of Arkansas library after using its archives to publish shocking information about Hillary Clinton; the event happened close to that library.
The preceding is a summary of an article that originally appeared on Free Beacon.
