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Trump Directs Musk to Rescue Stranded Astronauts as Biden Falters

It appears that President Trump is stepping in where others have dropped the ball, directing SpaceX mogul Elon Musk to rescue two American astronauts stranded at the International Space Station. The dynamic duo—NASA astronauts Suni Williams and Butch Wilmore—are apparently feeling a little neglected, having been stuck in space longer than many Americans spend watching a few Marvel movies back-to-back. While they were meant to be back on Earth months ago, it seems complications have turned their eight-day jaunt into an extended vacation in low Earth orbit, courtesy of an unreliable spacecraft.

In a classic move, Trump took to Truth Social to express his dismay, stating that he had reached out to Musk to expedite the return of these astronauts whom he claims have been “virtually abandoned” by the current administration. This bold action has all the flair of America’s favorite industrialist swooping in like a space superhero at a moment’s notice. Instead of twiddling thumbs while the Biden Administration sits idle, Trump’s call to action certainly packs a punch, aiming to get these scientists back to work—hopefully intact, but we’ll take what we can get.

 

The astronauts initially left for the ISS in the summer of 2024 with plans for a brief test mission on Boeing’s Starliner. However, thanks to some rather dramatic complications with the spacecraft’s propulsion system—certainly a factor that would make one question a government contract—their eight-day rendezvous morphed into an extended stay that seems more like a sitcom plot than an actual mission. With NASA deeming the Starliner not safe for their return journey, they requested SpaceX to swoop in with its Crew Dragon spacecraft, which has been parked at the ISS since September, looking like an extra vehicle at a carpool.

But Trump’s directive to hasten their return is a mixed bag of potential chaos. Returning the astronauts early could disrupt their ongoing scientific adventures, and let’s be honest—who wouldn’t want to see science happen in zero gravity? Still, perhaps the more alarming issue is the prospect of the ISS becoming a bit understaffed. Under Trump’s timeline, Williams and Wilmore would be returning before a fresh crew arrives, leaving only a solitary NASA astronaut on board—a situation reminiscent of a one-man band trying to play an orchestra’s worth of instruments.

With seven astronauts currently on board the ISS, the last thing the space station requires is to be operating with a skeleton crew. Who does Trump think he is, sending them home early like they’re overdue library books? It’s one thing to prioritize the safety of astronauts, yet another to do so at the expense of ongoing research—which provides the backbone of scientific advancement. Given the current administration’s mishaps regarding space missions, it’s refreshing to see someone stepping up, even if it comes with its own set of complications. In the meantime, as astronauts float in microgravity, they might just be hoping for a quick getaway that keeps their research intact and space exploration alive and well.

Written by Staff Reports

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