Staff Reports
A second assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump has unfolded with all the subtlety of a bull in a china shop, leading to the arrest of Ryan Wesley Routh outside Trump’s Florida golf club. Routh’s family is attempting to distance themselves from the chaos, insisting that taking potshots at a former president isn’t really his thing. Apparently, Routh is more of a hobbyist than a hitman, which is reassuring—unless you’re a golf ball.
Routh’s son, Oran, was quick to come forward after Dad’s unexpected turn in the limelight, vehemently proclaiming that his father is about as violent as a marshmallow. Oran, who supposedly knew nothing of his father’s ill-fated escapade, seemed more concerned about whether Routh senior had been injured in the attempt than about the assassination worries. Cue the dramatic irony as he also lamented his father’s presumed hatred of Trump, as if that’s some badge of honor these days.
BREAKING: Ryan Wesley Routh’s son says his father hates Donald Trump like “all reasonable people.”
Oran Routh tells the Daily Mail his father is not a violent person and didn’t believe he owned a firearm.#ryanwesleyrouth #Trump pic.twitter.com/yUXzK2Yeau
— Chaudhary Parvez (@ChaudharyParvez) September 16, 2024
The drama escalated on Sunday when several shots rang out while the former president was enjoying a round of golf, perhaps pondering the state of the Union or perfecting his backswing. Thankfully, the Secret Service ensured a swift exit for Trump, sending him off for another day of tweets and rallies. As for Routh, the absence of military experience—or apparently even a firearm—seems to suggest that he might just have made a poor choice in hobbies.
Oran, now residing in sunny Hawaii, discovered all this from a distance and seemed unimpressed with his father’s judgment. When father called to say he was at the beach, you can imagine Oran assumed he was soaking up the sun on the Outer Banks—not dodging charges of attempted murder in Florida. Falling out in modern families often leaves them more fractured than a local sports team suffering a losing streak, and this family dynamic is no exception.
Even as Oran dished out praise for his father—claiming he’s hard-working and an all-around “great dude”—one has to wonder how much faith to place in these glowing endorsements. So far, the only thing concretely known about Routh is that he’s a general contractor who apparently has never dabbled in anything more dangerous than a traffic ticket. Yet here they are, up against the headlines of wild accusations and police tapes. Clearly, the media circus might have found its next act, but whether it’ll impress or leave a sour taste in voters’ mouths remains to be seen.
