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Assassination Attempt on Trump Foiled in Bizarre Florida Incident

In a scene that feels all too reminiscent of a bad crime thriller, authorities recently captured Ryan Wesley Routh, a 58-year-old man whose plans to ambush former President Trump were thwarted quicker than a liberal’s arguments against gun rights. The drama unfolded on a Sunday in Florida when Routh, armed with an SKS-style rifle, decided that hiding in the bushes at Trump International Golf Club was a peachy spot for a stealth assassination. Little did he know, the Secret Service had other plans.

The bodycam footage, now released to the public, shows a very calm Routh being ordered to walk backward with his hands aloft like he was auditioning for a part in a crime procedural instead of facing the consequences for his actions. With constant reminders that he was armed and hiding with nefarious intent, he eventually decided to comply with law enforcement. After all, an arrest in Florida doesn’t involve a chase across the swamp—just a quick pit stop on Interstate 95.

There are a few details that make this incident all the more absurd. Secret Service agents spotted Routh after they noticed the barrel of his rifle making an awful revelation through the shrubbery. At the same time, Trump was busy trying to improve his swing. The sighting led to a quick engagement from the agents, prompting a confused Routh to flee the scene. Fortunately, this would-be assassin was about as stealthy as a herd of elephants on roller skates, which made it all too easy for deputies to catch up with him a short time later.

Investigators used high-tech license plate readers (Thank you, technology!) to locate Routh’s vehicle on the freeway, where they executed the classic “let’s box him in” technique of apprehending him near the Palm City exit. Sheriff Will Snyder’s comments hinted at Routh’s misguided belief that following traffic laws would somehow help him evade justice. One can only imagine what goes through the mind of someone plotting an assassination attempt—” If I go the speed limit, everything will be just peachy.”

Interestingly, Routh’s son entered the fray, downplaying the seriousness of his father’s situation. Oran Routh assured everyone that his old man wasn’t violent and expressed disbelief that his dad owned a gun at all. This revelation raises an eyebrow or two. His comments seem to suggest that somehow every “reasonable person” can be a nonviolent assassin if they just happen to dislike Trump. The irony is undeniable; it’s like saying a cat can be a dog because it doesn’t care much for barking.

Authorities are patting themselves on the back for a job well done, with law enforcement officials lauding the Secret Service for their godsend of vigilance. With circumstances like this, one is left questioning whether the attempted assassination of a former president will change any hearts or minds on the left. One thing is for sure: Routh won’t be getting a participation trophy for his effort, but maybe a stern talking-to about the folly of armed ambushes and being a poor shot.

Written by Staff Reports

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Trump Targeted Again: Arrest Made at Florida Golf Club