Biased Prof Claims Biden Leads 2024, But Trump’s Hot on His Heels!

Hear ye, hear ye, gather ’round, folks! The history professor, Allan Lichtman, is putting on his soothsayer hat once again and trying to predict the outcome of the 2024 presidential election. But hold up, before you go thinking he’s some impartial observer, remember that he’s a Democrat teaching at American University in liberal Washington, D.C. So, you know, take his predictions with a grain of salt the size of Texas.

Lichtman has this fancy-schmancy scheme called the “Keys to the White House,” where if the incumbent party candidate snags eight or more of these keys, Lichtman says they’ll win the election. Sounds like a bunch of hocus pocus to this writer. According to MarketWatch, Lichtman says current President Joe Biden has the edge in the 2024 race, with five keys in his pocket, but there are still five keys up for grabs.

Now, don’t go all doom and gloom just yet, my fellow conservatives, because Donald Trump is right on Biden’s tail with three keys secured. You know what that means? It means there’s hope, folks! There’s still a chance for Trump to swoop in and snatch the win from ol’ Sleepy Joe.

But wait, there’s a twist! Lichtman gave Biden some freebies just because he’s the incumbent, like key No. 3 for incumbency and key No. 2 because there ain’t no serious challenger for the Democratic nomination. And get this, he also tossed Biden both economic keys just because the economy isn’t currently in the dumps and there’s some good ol’ economic growth happening.

And Trump? Well, he’s got key No. 1 in the bag just because the Democrats lost seats in the House of Representatives during the last midterms. Plus, Lichtman thinks Trump is winning the charisma and foreign policy keys. So, you see, it’s all up in the air, folks!

Now, before you start placing your bets, hold your horses because Lichtman isn’t ready to slap a big fat prediction sticker on anyone just yet. He’s playing hard to get and says it’s still too early to call. But don’t you worry, he’s planning to drop his prediction bomb in August. So, mark your calendars and get ready for some more guessing games.

Alright, now, before we wrap this up, a little birdie told this writer about a message from our friends at The Western Journal. They’re hollering about how important the 2024 election is and how they’re dedicated to serving up the truth, unlike those big bad mainstream media folks. They’re even rallying the troops and asking for support to keep doing what they do. So, if you’re feeling generous and righteous, go and throw them a bone or two, will ya?

Well, there you have it, folks! Another day, another dose of political drama. Stay tuned for more twists, turns, and predictions as we count down to the most important election of our lifetime. Let the games begin!

Written by Staff Reports

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