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Biden Returns, Teases No Reelection Bid Amid Calls for Harris to Take Over

President Joe Biden made his grand return to the public eye after a six-day hiatus fueled by a COVID diagnosis that was about as lucrative as a two-for-one deal at a gas station. Speaking at an NAACP convention, the president briefly addressed questions from reporters—directly after teasing everyone with the suspense of whether he could still form coherent thoughts and manage to stand upright.

The big news? He announced on social media that he wouldn’t be seeking reelection, only to drop a second surprise: his health status after months of speculation. One might expect a more exhaustive explanation, but instead, when asked how he felt, Biden reportedly delivered one of the most powerful statements of the century with a dull and uninspired “Well.” This appears to be the new standard for presidential charisma in the Biden era.

Skipping to the juicy parts, some eagle-eyed Republicans are now demanding that Vice President Kamala Harris invoke the 25th Amendment and take charge as the 46th president. Given Biden’s apparent ability to “perform all of his presidential duties” while also deciding he’d rather not run for office, it’s no wonder that people are scratching their heads—many think he’s playing the world’s least engaging game of hide-and-seek. Perhaps even Biden himself is wondering why he stepped into the spotlight again only to highlight the uncomfortable reality of his fitness for service.

In the grand theater of the Democratic Party, the internal strife is palpable. There’s chatter that top Democratic operatives were busy plotting against him long before he took the stage for what’s likely to be his farewell tour. Republican pundits are having a field day with the news. One Republican representative posited that Biden, rather than serving as the party’s candidate, has become a metaphorical anchor weighing down the ship. According to some, waiting for him to resign would be like waiting for a sundial to tell time during a thunderstorm.

The silence after Biden’s lengthy COVID-19 absence was deafening. Maybe he’s just tired of all the questions. At this point, one can only appreciate the irony of a president diagnosed with a virus that highlights how unfit he seems to be both physically and politically. With not only whispers of a Harris takeover but also conclusive arguments from certain GOP members that Biden’s cognitive decline compromises national security, the narrative is shifting in ways that would leave any political strategist scrambling for the exits.

In the land of the free and home of the brave, deciding who is in charge has never felt so comically choreographed. With Biden making appearances that appear pre-scripted and more awkward than a first date in a family diner, the real question remains: Who on earth will steer the ship while both the crew and the captain seem ready to jump overboard? The future definitely looks murky, but one thing is clear—the American public is slowly waking up to the reality that it might just be time for a new commander-in-chief.

Written by Staff Reports

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