Biden’s Cozy Handshake with China’s Xi Sparks Alarm

President Biden warmly greets Chinese leader Xi Jinping with a sincere handshake, setting off the start of what some might call a rapidly inflating nationwide threat… oh, sorry, that’s helium. The very real threat, according to 50 percent of Americans, is China. That’s right, guys and gals, China is skyrocketing to the top of the threat ladder, leaving Russia and North Korea trailing far, far behind. Biden’s cozy meeting with Xi raises some serious questions. Why is the President being so chummy with the leader of a nation that many Americans see as the biggest potential problem for the Land of the Free?

Now, folks, let’s talk about the “greet” video. A mere 46 minutes of PowerPoint slides announcing the “greet” are followed by just over a minute of the leaders getting out of a car and marching into a building after waving to reporters. Seriously, that’s like watching an entire season of “The Bachelor” just to see the final rose ceremony. Talk about government inefficiency!

As if that wasn’t enough, when a reporter dared to ask Biden about his message to China, the President totally ignored the poor guy and just sauntered off inside with Xi. Real classy, Mr. President, real classy.

But wait, there’s more! The leaders finally sit down to chat, and what do they talk about? Climate change, narcotics, and artificial intelligence. Hey, China, couldn’t you come up with something a little more original? Of course, Xi had to bring up economics, whining about recovering from the pandemic and combating rising protectionism. At least they both agreed that turning their backs on each other is a major no-no. True friendship, guys, true friendship.

And not to burst your bubble, but did you know that 50 percent of Americans see China as our biggest threat? That’s right, folks, half of the nation is shakin’ in their boots at the mere mention of China. Looks like someone should think twice about going for that take-out from Szechuan Palace.

In conclusion, the handshake and pleasantries exchanged between Biden and Xi might not sit right with some Americans. What’s really going on behind the scenes? Are they plotting to take over the world with a super-secret plan involving climate change and artificial intelligence? Only time will tell, my friends, only time will tell.

Written by Staff Reports

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