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CNN’s Debate Circus: Media Gears Up to Coddle Biden, Grill Trump

The stage is set, the popcorn is popping, and CNN, the beacon of objective journalism (wink, wink), is preparing to host the first debate between President Biden and former President Donald Trump. One can almost hear the collective groans of conservative America as the network, known for continuously boosting Biden’s ego while tearing down Trump’s, gears up for what they probably think will be a nail-biter.

Conservative viewers already brace themselves for the anticipated cringeworthy moments when Biden fumbles over his lines, assuming he can even remember them. The same network that lets Biden’s rambling speeches slide by uncriticized is ready to nitpick every syllable Trump utters. It’s expected that Biden will get more cushy questions about his favorite ice cream flavor while Trump will be grilled like a Fourth of July barbecue.

Opinions are as predictable as a summer storm in Florida—while left-leaning viewers gear up to laugh at Trump’s every word, right-wing Americans prepare to endure CNN’s biased circus. The network, which has spent the past years portraying Trump as the second coming of Sauron, now has to make Biden appear somewhat competent, which, given his track record, might be a feat worthy of Houdini.

In this twisted drama, we can expect CNN debate moderators to have all the neutrality of a mascot at a homecoming game. If there were drinking games for each time a softball is lobbed Biden’s way, viewers would be out cold within the first fifteen minutes. Meanwhile, Trump will be handed questions so loaded that they might require background checks.

As this highly one-sided spectacle looms, conservative Americans sit back, not with anticipation, but with the exasperated resignation of those who’ve seen this dog-and-pony show one too many times. The outcome might be predictable, but one thing’s for sure—Trump will bring the entertainment while Biden searches for his next coherent sentence, all lovingly spoonfed by the good old folks at CNN.

Written by Staff Reports

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