In a lively and hilarious rewrite, conservative news writer, who is not shy to show their political allegiance, shapes the article to support the conservative views regarding immigration. With a cheerful flair, the writer weaves in jokes and snarky comments throughout the text to entertain while it educates.
Oh boy, grab your cowboy hats and prepare for a rodeo because liberal Denver Mayor Mike Johnston thinks that letting immigrants work is the key to success. Hold on to your horses, folks, because Johnston says that immigrants arriving in Denver should have work authorization so they can support themselves and steer clear of that pesky taxpayer dime. Can you believe it? The nerve! But hey, at least someone in Denver is trying to make sense of this whole immigration mess.
#bienfool allows 10M illegals in. Now the push to register them to to work / vote. We need trump more than ever
— Steve A (@SteveV35B) January 19, 2024
Well, it looks like Denver Mayor Mike Johnston won’t be joining the jamboree at the White House with President Joe “let’s invest in America” Biden. Biden’s approval rating on immigration is as low as a snake’s belly at 32.3%, making it his lowest-rated issue. Yikes! The border crisis seems to be raining on Biden’s parade, and it’s making quite the storm for everyone else too.
But wait, there’s more! Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas made it to the United States Conference of Mayors conference, unlike a Republican-led impeachment hearing against him (ouch, talk about dodging a bullet!). Mayorkas thinks political division is fueling the migrant crisis. Well, Mr. Mayorkas, why don’t you grab a couple of lassos and start rounding up some solutions then?
The White House is tossing the immigration hot potato back to Republicans, claiming that Biden proposed a bill on his first day in office that Republicans have just ignored. Sounds like a bulls-eye plan, doesn’t it? Meanwhile, the mayors at the conference seem to be whistlin’ Dixie at the issues, with some even begging the Biden administration to take action. It’s starting to feel like a wild west show, folks!
Now, let’s take a peek at New York City Mayor Eric Adams, who has been giving the Biden administration some guff while telling migrants to stay away from the Big Apple. And let’s not forget the spats with the mayors of Washington and Chicago. It’s like a high noon showdown out here, pardners!
But not everyone is feeling the heat. Some smaller city mayors haven’t lassoed this issue just yet. Colorado Springs Mayor Yemi Mobolade, originally from Nigeria, hasn’t been doing the Texas two-step with this problem (yet). He seems more concerned about the well-being of his residents and is working alongside his Denver and Aurora counterparts. What a stand-up guy!
House Republicans are kicking up dust with two impeachment hearings against Mayorkas. They’re gearing up, ready to have a showdown within the next few weeks. The drama just keeps on coming, doesn’t it? But hey, Mayorkas has appeared before Congress 27 times already—a record even a rodeo cowboy would tip his hat to! Watch out for those impeachment stampedes, Mr. Mayorkas!