Desperate Democrats Turning to Michelle Obama as Biden Flounders in Polls

Joe Biden, the man who could forget his own name if it weren’t pinned to his collar, might finally be wearing out his welcome among the Democratic elite. After a debate performance that could best be described as a train wreck, some Democrats have started whispering about calling in the benchwarmers. Names like Kamala Harris, Pete Buttigieg, Gavin Newsom, Josh Shapiro, JB Pritzker, Andy Beshear, and Gretchen Whitmer are being tossed around like a hot potato at a backyard barbecue. But here’s where it gets hilariously desperate: there’s one Democrat who, according to a poll, supposedly stands a chance against the icon of conservative America, Donald Trump.

Hold onto your MAGA hats, folks, because it’s none other than the former first lady, Michelle Obama, who leads Trump in a hypothetical showdown, according to a Reuters/Ipsos poll. Admittedly, it’s easy to look good when you’ve spent the last few years sitting on the sidelines and penning memoirs while the rest of your party is running in circles and tripping over progressive policies.

The poll shows that all other Democratic contenders are essentially Biden 2.0. Kamala Harris, the queen of word salads, barely nudges past Trump at 42% to his 43%. California’s Gavin Newsom, who’s been running his state like it’s a doomed franchise of California Pizza Kitchen, fares no better, scoring just 39% to Trump’s 42%. Seriously, at this rate, they might as well nominate a cardboard cutout for all the good it will do them.

Meanwhile, our favorite CrossFit fanatic, the former first lady, gets all the glory with 50% favorability compared to Trump’s 39%. It’s almost like people forget that she’s married to the man who spent eight years “fundamentally transforming” America into something no one recognizes anymore. Nevertheless, the love affair with Michelle Obama continues even as she insists she’s not interested in the top job. Actions speak louder than words, though, and word has it she’s scheming to help boost Kamala Harris through a coalition of wealthy black donors. Talk about trying to trade in a used car for another lemon.

In a classic case of “rock meet hard place,” Biden and Trump find themselves deadlocked at 40% each. The poll reflects the broader sentiment among voters, who seem equally tired of both political old dogs. Biden, with his ever-present gaffes and questionable awareness, and Trump, the media’s perpetual villain, are both wearing the public thin. Only one candidate, that being Michelle Obama, appears to curry enough favor to secure a majority support among voters – mainly those who still daydream about the “good old days” of eight years of high taxes and foreign policy blunders.

So, as the Democrats scramble to find a viable replacement for Biden, they might do well to remember that just because someone polls well in a hypothetical match-up doesn’t mean they’re fit to lead. For now, conservatives can sit back and enjoy the chaotic circus that the Democratic primary is sure to become. The real question remains: will Michelle Obama, the so-called reluctant savior, swoop in to save the day, or will her party be left to fend for itself against Trump? The popcorn is ready, and this show is just getting started.

Written by Staff Reports

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