Staff Reports
Brad Slager’s latest “Sunshine State Psychosis” dispatch landed like a sunburn: predictable, irritating, and impossible to ignore. The newest roundup stitches together a trio of car-centered episodes that tell a simple story — too many drivers, too little self-control, and a justice system trying to plug holes in a leaky dike. Read it for the chuckles, but don’t miss the policy problem underneath.
New Sunshine State Psychosis dispatch: what it collects
The RedState column is a fresh installment in a recurring series that bundles local police reports into one sardonic package. This week’s focus is automotive chaos: a high-speed DUI with a passenger seat full of hard seltzer cans, a repeat fugitive in the Keys who allegedly stole a vehicle after posting bond, and a Manatee County defendant convicted of his eighth DUI. The roundup is short, sharp, and aimed squarely at the strange normal of Florida roadside mayhem.
White Claw, 90 mph, and a DUI stop on I‑75
Pasco County troopers pulled over a speeding Honda after spotting it doing roughly 90 mph on I‑75. The trooper found dozens of open hard‑seltzer cans on the passenger side and arrested the driver on a DUI charge. Most local accounts and FHP‑attributed mentions put the breath result well above the 0.08 legal limit — widely reported as 0.177 — though one outlet published a lower number. Either way, driving that fast with a trunkful of empty cans is a bad look and a serious public‑safety risk.
Repeat fleeing in the Keys: allegedly stealing a courthouse SUV
In the Florida Keys, deputies say a 23‑year‑old man was arrested after a second high‑speed fleeing incident in under a week. Authorities allege he stole an SUV from a courthouse lot after being released earlier that day. Reports say prior chases topped 125 mph. Whether it’s juvenile bravado or hardened recklessness, this kind of repeat fleeing and vehicle theft shows enforcement and bail practices are being tested — and sometimes failing to keep dangerous people off the road.
Eighth DUI conviction — convicted, sentence pending
A Manatee County jury convicted a defendant on felony DUI charges that prosecutors say amount to an eighth DUI conviction. Local reporting confirms the guilty verdict; sentencing has been scheduled and prosecutors are seeking habitual‑offender enhancements that could carry serious time. Media accounts quoted the state calling the defendant a “menace to society.” Important correction to readers: reporting does not show a 15‑year sentence already imposed — that is the maximum exposure prosecutors cited if enhancements succeed.
Why the roundup matters — beyond the laughs
Yes, these stories make for dark comedy. But they also point to policy questions conservatives should care about: repeat offenders who keep driving, bail and release practices that may let suspects reoffend quickly, and the need for consistent enforcement of DUI and fleeing statutes. The “Florida Man” meme is fun to mock, but the danger is real and the victims are ordinary people. If we want safer roads and fewer courtroom déjà‑vus, lawmakers and law enforcement need to stop treating these episodes as inevitable punchlines and start treating them as preventable crimes.
