Fossil Fuels Win: Electric Car Dreams Crash and Burn!

In the eternal tug-of-war between fossil fuel patriotism and liberal aspirations for electric might, it appears that the tide has turned in favor of good old gasoline-guzzling, emission-spewing vehicles. The dream of autonomous electric clunkers cruising our streets seems to be fading faster than a Biden promise.

Take the titan of tech, Apple. They’ve waved the white flag over their Project Titan, a protracted fantasy of an autonomous electric car. They’re ditching the jalopy in favor of generative artificial intelligence. Well, at least that sounds more like something out of a sci-fi novel than an actual ride on wheels.

The eco-warriors who championed the electric car revolution have suffered a blow to their solar-powered egos. Biden and his cronies are backpedaling like a unicycle with a flat tire on their mandatory electric vehicle sales plan. The only sharp increase happening now is in excuses!

Ford, bless their gasket-stricken hearts, can’t seem to give away their electrified clunkers, resorting to slashing prices faster than a ninja on sale day. It’s a classic case of trying to sell ice to Eskimos – Americans just aren’t buying it. Not even when there’s a blue-light special!

But fear not, fellow freedom lovers, for Toyota’s got our backs with hybrids. Their sales are shooting up like a rocket at a fireworks stand. People are clamoring for those fuel-efficient, dependable hybrids like it’s the last drop of gasoline on earth. Who needs a souped-up Prius when you can have a Mustang Mach-E collecting dust in the garage?

The lesson here, dear reader, is that the American dream still revolves around good, old-fashioned cars that run on good, old-fashioned fuel. Hybrids are the golden ticket to a greener future without the hefty price tag or the range anxiety. So next time the liberals come knocking with their electric fantasies, just remember – hybrids are the true road warriors of tomorrow!

Written by Staff Reports

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