Staff Reports
In a bizarre turn of events, raccoons in Germany have started stealing beer, causing havoc for vacationers and locals. These clever critters have been raiding kitchens and causing thousands of dollars worth of damage. They have even been spotted knocking over discarded beer bottles in city parks to help themselves to the remaining booze. It seems that raccoons really enjoy beer, which is understandable because Germany is one of the best places in the world to drink it. As a conservative republican, the writer finds the situation both humorous and concerning. While it may be amusing to picture raccoons getting drunk, it is also a reminder of the problems these non-native species can cause.
Bet they aren’t stealing #BudLight https://t.co/iskxu5wxlW
— Mansplainer (@Virawasp4080) August 24, 2023
Raccoons have been introduced into Europe and Japan, where they wreak havoc on properties and crops. In the United States, raccoons are not only mischievous but also a serious rabies vector. Despite their pesky behavior, the writer acknowledges that raccoons are interesting pests and suggests that there is always more than one way to deal with them. As a conservative republican, the writer expresses his libertarian viewpoints by highlighting the adaptability of wildlife and the coexistence of certain animals with humans.
