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Army Crushes Navy, Biden AWOL at Patriot Game Showdown!

In a historic showdown that’s been going on for over a hundred years, West Point and Annapolis battled it out once again in their annual football game, and boy oh boy, you can bet this match wasn’t just a bunch of guys tossing around balls like a couple of neighborhood kids! No sir, this isn’t your typical SEC or Big Ten game – this here is an age-old rivalry packed with tradition and pride, and it’s something every good, patriotic American football fan ought to sit up and take notice of!

This time around, the stakes were higher than ever, thanks to Army pulling off a spectacular upset win over Air Force just the month before. And let’s not forget, folks, this game was for the prestigious Commander-in-Chief trophy! You’d think with all that on the line, President Biden would have shown up to cheer on our brave cadets, but nope, he was a no-show. Sure, Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin made an appearance, but ol’ Joe was nowhere to be found.

Now, as a conservative writer, you can’t help but wonder – why in the world would President Biden skip out on such a quintessentially American event? Some say he was too busy rubbing elbows with those wealthy liberal donors, but who really knows for sure? Maybe he was afraid he’d get booed! But listen here, that’s just not something that happens at these games, folks.

But hey, let’s not skip over the real headline here – Army emerged triumphant with a solid 17-11 victory over the Midshipmen! That’s right, the Black Knights took home the coveted Commander-in-Chief trophy, and boy, what a sight it was to see our boys in uniform basking in the glory of their hard-earned win!

And let’s talk about some play-by-play action, alright? Army came out swingin’ with a four-yard touchdown pass early on, and even with Navy making a valiant effort to rally back in the game, Army shut ’em down with a crucial stop on the one-foot line, leaving the Midshipmen high and dry with nothing but three seconds left on the clock.

But hold on just a minute – we can’t let this go without asking where the heck President Biden was during all this excitement! It’s not like he couldn’t find time for the easiest public event on his presidential calendar, right? Maybe his staff were worried he’d get caught napping on camera? Who knows, folks, but mark my words – there’s always next year, and we’ll be keeping an eagle eye out for ol’ Joe!

Written by Staff Reports

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